Wannabe Sybil's Witterings

New Half Term

2012-02-20T09:35:00.002Z

Little bear is back at school and I am left with a house in ruins. I am also shattered from lack of sleep. For some reason I am exhausted during the day - I could put my head down and sleep now - but awake during the night.

We are having fish tonight, and I could do with a deep clean of the kitchen. Darling father also tided up a large heap of chaos in the living room and it is starting to creep back. I need to make several phone calls.

I think I will worry about the phone calls first, then start working in the living room, clearing out some space to put the chaos. How do you eat an elephant - one mouthful at a time. I will do fifteen minute chunks with fifteen minute breaks, which has worked in the past, and see how I go. A miracle might happen. First things first, though, I need to call darling uncle. That will take up the first hour of my day.

Thinking harder about shopping

2012-02-19T19:10:00.006Z

I was thinking carefully about the Makro offer. £10 is £10, after all. On the other hand it is not long before I need to pay the rest of the holiday, and anything could happen between then and now. Really, I need to start saving like a demon for the next one.

Two things have changed my mind. I don't actually like Velvet loo roll. It is too thick and there is a bend in the toilet waste pipe which makes me nervous of flushing anything too substantial. I actually prefer the Asda own brand smartprice thicker rolls which last for ages and are more than adequate for the purpose intended. The other thing that significantly changed my mind - the car has started missing. Nice Mr Next Door (a professional mechanic who used to have his own garage and is pretty clued up) will deal with it. He thinks it is a petrol filter thingy. I know we will not be overcharged, but I think I would rather hold back on the shopping to save in case the car needs something even more expensive.

I can eke out the washing up liquid for a little longer, and it will be really healthy for me to walk to Makro and really sensible not to carry a big load back. The washing powder will be good for a week or too and, best of all, Asda not only had 7up for £1 per bottle (bought six) but they also had 30 tins of coca cola for £8 (15 tins bogof).

My house is still too full to stock up for the sake of stocking up. However, agreeing with Robyn on the benefits, when it is a little less congested I shall try and think scientifically about stocking up, and doing the research.

Things little bear says

2012-02-19T14:46:00.002Z

Evil cat was sitting on little bear's chair, looking old and creaky. Little bear wanted to sit there. OH and I tried to persuade little bear to leave the poor old cat alone. Little bear was unimpressed.

'That chair, in writing that only cats and little boys can see, says Little Bear Only.' Little bear said crossly.

In the end evil cat roused her old bones to come and see what I was up to and little bear scooted in quickly. I can't wait to see what other signs are written in this mysterious language.

Tempted to spend

2012-02-18T10:43:00.004Z

Makro have an offer that if you spend £100 (ex vat) then you have a £10 voucher.

They also have an offer where you can buy 36 Velvet toilet rolls for £9.95 (buy 18 rolls, get one free ex vat). two lots of this would set me up for some considerable time, I have places to put them and they don't go off. That's £20 of the £100. Then I could do with a gallon jug of washing up liquid, and while I could eke out my washing powder for a little longer, they have an offer of Persil at £9.95 (ex vat) for 85 washes. So you are looking at £35 of the £100.

Then I could sort out some pop, darling father is keen on 7up and 7up alone for his whisky. That is one of the few places that Makro really scores against the supermarket. OH really likes tins of coke, and he insists on coca cola, again that is an area where you can really save money at Makro. £100 looks doable, although a lot of it comes from stuff that really could be cut back on if we were struggling.

The offer starts on 22 February. That is four days away. I shall think about it. Spending that £100 could save a lot of money, but do I really want that £10 voucher that much? Spending £50 would save a lot of money, and wouldn't make such a dent in the bank balance. I shall do some serious thinking.

Little bear is happy

2012-02-18T09:34:00.002Z

Little bear had a wonderful time in Leeds. He did not need new shoes. As it must be six months since he had his shoes this bothers me, but he seems to be growing fine everywhere else, so I shall wait for the next growth spurt.

He managed to persuade me into a cafe, he generally was a happy soul, and he had a go on two of the rides in front of the Town Hall. The little roundabout was unremarkable. However the bungee ride was not.

It is brilliant for little ones, and although of course I had my moment of nerves, little bear thought it fantastic. The little one is strapped into a harness, attached to two separated bungee lines, and then hoisted up to bounce suspended over a trampoline. Sometimes the lines were higher, sometimes they were lower, and sometimes the nice man pulled the cords to make little bear bounce like crazy.

All I can say is that the delighted smile on little bear every time that happened lit up my world. He thought it the most amazing thing ever! Fear was happening somewhere else.

Ouch

2012-02-17T14:21:00.001Z

Little bear was messing around on a step stool. He tilted back, I grabbed him and the step thudded back - right on my toe!

And I have to still take little bear to Leeds and walk around. I am feeling a bit fragile. And I am not looking forward to the bruise to come.

I hate Dr Who cards

2012-02-17T12:18:00.002Z

I am about to start sorting them again.

The alternative is to open the huge box of craft stuff that has just been delivered, but which I am really, really not up for.

Devil and the Deep Blue Sea spring to mind.

But little bear is relatively happy. I am completely at my wits end with food for him, but have reached the 'eat it or go hungry' stage, so that should buy me a breathing space. I am insisting that he sticks to relatively healthy things. All things are relative and I would consider breakfast cereal for lunch if it got something into him. He is not going to starve.

What I need is a looooong sleep, which I may be able to manage during the day on Monday.

Promises you regret

2012-02-17T10:06:00.003Z

I promised I would take little bear on a train to the area where OH works and we could have tea together.

On the one hand little bear is objecting strenuously to venturing outside the house. On the other, I have a pounding headache. Still, a promise is a promise. I am sure it will be fun.

Poor darling father

2012-02-16T15:04:00.002Z

Darling father was distracted by the ginger gentleman and Oscar squaring up to each other and fell. He is shaken, but not hurt. He is probably in a better state than I would be. He has missed his snooker afternoon, but I am sure he will be as right as rain soon.

Ever feel like worrying? I was looking at part time work possibilities yesterday. I just hope it could perhaps maybe work, just a bit of part time work. I don't know if I am even employable after all these years. And I can have a wonderful time worrying about darling father. Sigh. He was climbing a ladder painting tall doors yesterday. I am sure I am worrying over nothing.

Counting Down

2012-02-16T11:53:00.003Z

Little bear is organising his Dr Who cards. He decided he wanted to write down all the numbers. There are literally hundreds of the dratted things and he was going through, laboriously writing down the number of every card that passes through his sticky hands.

Then he remembered that when the first half of the cards came out I typed up a table of cards 1-170. So I sat down, typed up a table, did some fiddling...

...then he decided he was going to do the typing. So he started off on a blank screen, carefully typing out 1, 2, 3... Every so often he would come through to where I was sitting and triumphantly announce that he had typed 127! After I while I mentioned he only had one hundred to go. That was a mistake. He started counting down. Not only was he counting down instead of giving totals, he started running from the study where he was typing to the living room where I was talking to darling father and shouting out the running total to go - for each number!

Finally he got to 279, and then came in and told me he had a sore throat and his hands were getting tired. I took pity and finished it off.

He is currently following some system of his own where he circles the numbers that were typed and printed out, then he writes it on a piece of paper and then he puts a tick next to the number. He is happy. I am leaving him to it.

Early night

2012-02-16T09:01:00.003Z

I was sooooo glad to get to sleep last night, I have been on short rations since before Christmas and it is not always my fault.

When little bear woke me up at 4am because he had lost his rat, I was unimpressed. Fortunately I was so dazed from being woken up from a deep sleep that he didn't learn any new words, but while he just grabbed the toy rat and went out like a light, I took ages to get back to sleep. Sigh. The only good part was that he conceded that he needed more than a very small, very light fleece throw to sleep in when I snuggled the duvet over him (again).

He was so good at sleeping when he was little.

Character witness

2012-02-15T17:00:00.002Z

There are at least a thousand Dr Who cards accumulated by little bear. And I had painstakingly sorted them into numbered under 100, over 100, over 200 and over 300.

Little bear is shuffling them into a huge heap. No doubt he is looking forward to calling out the numbers as I sort them. They are all sort of piled into a very large box, completely ignoring the small boxes I had carefully put them in.

I need to keep calm, and count to ten, or I will be needing Character Witnesses. It could come to that anyway - little bear demanded round sandwiches (no idea) and then decided that he didn't like the taste of them round he wanted square instead. Four full days until he is back at school.

Half Term Museum

2012-02-15T15:34:00.003Z

I have just staggered in from taking little bear to the museum. It was very, very, very busy. Lots of mums have had the same thought - we have to do something and Leeds Museum is free.

Actually Leeds Museum is not only free but scattered with lots of little bits and bobs ideal for the youngsters. Little bear explored them thoroughly and extensively. He had a marvellous time looking at the Egyptian artefacts on tour from the British Museum and trying to grasp how old the things were. I explained that they were older than our house and grandad and evil cat all put together. Little bear looked dubious at that. I didn't see much of anything but hope to have a look later on. I spent most of my time trying to track little bear who didn't so much explore the museum as ricochet.

I then went and got a Leeds Card, which costs £7.50. I only need to go to somewhere like the Tropical House three times and I have my money back. It lasts a year!

Then we popped into the Pound shop as I wanted to see if they had a bundle of biros. Little bear has gone through our stock of pens like Sherman through Georgia, leaving a similar trail of destruction. This weekend included the destruction of the pen he bought his father for Christmas. Of course I didn't stop at the pens. Little bear included some more felt pens (which he definitely doesn't need), some boxes for his Dr Who cards and a write on wipe off book which is a little too young for him. I found a washing basket of a style I have been trying to find for ages. I wanted a small washing basket, with the holes in the sides, not too bulky, for carrying one load of washing in, out and around. I now have one for £1 and I am really pleased as the nearest equivalent was Lakeland. Lakeland's version probably wouldn't cut into my fingers and would undoubtedly be more robust. However the one I was looking at is £10.99. So I am happy with the bargain.

Then it was the trip to the bus stop, and that I think was the most exhausting part. Little bear is full of cold and tired, which means that he is in a world of his own and seriously erratic. It took twenty minutes to get him from the Pound shop to the bus stop, and as Leeds was packed it was a fraught trip of trying to keep little bear close to me while holding two carriers and a laundry basket. As little bear's cruise control was erratic I spent half the time calling him to stop and stay close to me and not run ahead and the other half coaxing him to just keep moving, take another step, that's it... He was humming quietly to himself all the way home, and if he had been a year younger he would be napping by now. Instead he is playing upstairs with his toys.

I am now going to go and knit. I feel just about flattened.

Meal Time Madness

2012-02-14T22:43:00.002Z

Little bear was being stubborn, so I said, 'You have to eat at least two before you can have any chocolate.' Little bear protested. 'I want at least two eaten but you can have small ones, quick sticks, down quick as you can.' Little bear did his best impression of taking poison. 'Okay, you can just finish that one, but you must have another forkful of that before you have your chocolate.'

I was negotiating with little bear over his evening meal. Darling father has a knack of producing chocolate and goodies just before mealtimes, which makes things more interesting. Little bear is also developing Views. I personally don't think it worth while trying to force him to eat too much of something he doesn't like as I worry it will 'set' the distaste and mean that he can't eat it as an adult - it took me years to get past the force feeding of carrots at school dinners before I could eat them again as an adult. So I try and work round little bear to get some sort of balance in him.

As for the rejected food, he had just eaten a whole breaded haddock fillet with gusto and enthusiasm, which was why I was so lenient with the other stuff. The other stuff was chips which he was treating as extremely toxic and baked beans, which he was forcing down. He prefers plain pasta and sprouts. While that continues, I think I won't mind so much cooking a separate pan for little bear.

Dr Who Cards

2012-02-14T14:12:00.002Z

I bought a very large pack of the dratted Dr Who cards at Christmas in the hope that they would keep little bear quiet.

Little bear has other views - they are to keep US quiet. I am designated to sort into piles while he calls out the number on the card and ceremoniously places it into a plastic box. This could go on for some time. I plan to crack on with them after he has gone to bed so that I can present him triumphantly with a large amount of cards in number order which he can then read out. My sanity depends on it.

Five more full days before he goes back to school. And I know that he will be agitating to get some more. Not if I can help it!

I need to be tougher

2012-02-14T10:08:00.002Z

Little bear has negotiated that we do not go out today because he has a really busy day! He has to sort out all his Dr Who cards (several hundred, possibly even a thousand!) and he has to do his dot to dot books. So we are going out tomorrow.

As I have some lovely stomach cramps and we also have martial arts at 3.45pm, and the museum that is our target is not open until 11am, I have agreed.

But so much ends up being done his way. Seriously it is not healthy for him. On the other hand, I don't want to say no for the sake of it. I need to do a lot of thinking about this.

Little bear does not like half term

2012-02-14T09:10:00.002Z

One of the greatest threats I can make to little bear is that I won't let him go to school. It obtains near instant obedience. So you can imagine how much fun half term is.

In addition little bear has a cold and is lovely and green nosed. I knew it was coming, but being bunged up means that he is not getting enough sleep and waking early. Sigh. So I have a tired, bored and fed up little bear with the attention span of a kitten in a feather factory. And he is refusing to leave the house.

In a few minutes I will start the wonderful task of stuffing him into clothes and dragging him out of the door to actually do something. It is purely for my benefit. I am losing sanity trying to keep calm while he is complaining he can't find number forty two in his dot to dot when I am struggling with full hands on the way to somewhere. As I am refusing to drop everything the minute he demands something, there is a certain amount of tension. Also I am running out of ideas for him as I am putting off a lot of craft stuff until my order from crafty bugs turns up.

Little bear does not want to leave the house. He is happy here, he sees no reason to change, he does not want to go anywhere. I had rather been hoping to go and see the Vikings in York, but that is currently looking unlikely.

Still we have got the wii working, which means that at least little bear is getting a little exercise.

Darling Uncle is much better

2012-02-13T09:25:00.002Z

Darling uncle has had time in A&E, but has been discharged and is now much better. I am so relieved, although there is no doubt going to be the hassles of adjusting the tablets.

I think he will probably have a while to recover, in that he was stuck in A&E for hours without food etc and he is a diabetic, but that is just time. I shall be keeping closely in touch!

Now I can focus on the mayhem that is little bear and half term

Darling uncle is poorly

2012-02-12T11:11:00.002Z

I wish I knew what to do for the best.

Darling uncle has had a change of tablets. He started them on Thursday. He was fine on Thursday. Friday he was a bit stiff. Saturday he was aching. Today he can't get out of his chair - literally.

So, although he is fine in himself, and although he is not in any way confused or befuddled, he is waiting for an ambulance to take him in, as he can't move. Hopefully it will be an overnight stay, or at most two nights, as they sort out his tablets. I can't get there today, and he has forbidden it as the weather is worrying him. In fact I don't think anyone can get there easily. So I shall sit here and worry.

I am sure it will be okay.

The Wolfman

2012-02-11T08:32:00.002Z

I watched the Wolfman with OH and darling father last night. I really enjoyed it, though I am not much of a horror fan. It wasn't too gory for me, though it was gory enough, and it reminded me a lot of Bram Stoker's Dracula.

I risked the £2.99 for the DVD because it had Anthony Hopkins and Hugo Weaving in. Hugo Weaving doesn't have a large part in this, but I did enjoy him. I know that he is not everyone's cup of tea, but I am rapidly becoming a fan of his. I think because it is 'stage acting' that I like it, there is a bit of drama out him.

I shall keep a good look out for him in further films.

Random sort of day

2012-02-10T22:32:00.002Z

I have had a bit of a random day. I made a nice tea with mash, carrots and fish cooked in milk, butter and with a large sprig of rosemary. All was prepared before little bear got home from school.

I cooked ONE slice of eggy bread without setting off the alarm. I think if i thoroughly clean pans between eggy breads then I may be able to make that. Little bear saw it on tv and I rushed to make it for him, something relatively nutritious that he will eat. He also ate all his fish and all his carrots. I didn't bother with the mash. On one hand he had had eggy bread. On the other hand he will only eat mash this week with brown gravy over it. Obviously it will change next week.

I found out the direction that the ginger gentleman tom cat usually comes from and that a truce has not been established with Oscar. I managed to get to school relatively easily with a certain amount of co-operation from little bear and he came home with both gloves which have lasted a whole week! I handed out the invites to little bear's belated birthday party and picked up all the newspapers. Darling father painted a door and frame white. He needs to do a second coat, but evil cat (who scrounged rather a lot of fish from darling father) will no longer be camouflaged, sitting and crying for the door at the bottom of the stairs, a dark tabby next to a dark brown door, on a navy carpet on dimly lit stairs.

I also did some rather random online shopping. OH will be getting some more substantial shirts, little bear will get some decent quality sheets and M&S are doing four long sleeved tshirts for £12 in his size. That should keep him going for the rest of the spring (hopefully!).

I also purchased a hasty selection of craft items for little bear, and I am hopeful that I will survive next week. Little bear is firmly stating his intent to stay at home all the time! I am eying up a trip to York. It wouldn't be inexpensive, but there is a Viking Festival, and I think little bear would like Vikings. Little bear categorically stated he did not want to go to York, but wavered when I mentioned that there were treats in York. I shall wait to see what the weather holds.

In addition, it will be a takeaway tomorrow. Darling father will be watching Liverpool play Manchester United tomorrow. Kick off is 12.45pm, I believe, so I aim to line his stomach with something substantial for lunch and I think only a takeaway will do for tea, when he will need to mop up all that he has drunk. It's an important game against fervent rivals, he can stick to shandy the rest of the time, but Liverpool and Manchester United deserve whiskey.

Evil Cat has a gentleman caller

2012-02-09T19:02:00.002Z

I was cooking dinner (beeferoni, very pleasant, extra plain pasta for little bear) when I heard a cat crying outside. I had heard it a few times recently but I always put it down to Oscar. As there is usually someone around to let Oscar in next door I have always ignored it. However it was cold outside, wet, and I thought that the lovely family next door might have gone in for the night. So I opened the door to knock for him to go in, and was surprised by a large ginger tom!

Evil cat was wary. She carefully crept towards the door and stared coldly at the newcomer. I didn't dare shut the door as I didn't want to interrupt ongoing cat psychology. However I was worried as evil cat has only ever worked out how to attack, and has never worked out the idea of retreat, and this looked like a young cat. However they gently touched noses and then parted. Neither seemed overly traumatised, but the ginger gentleman didn't immediately cross the threshold.

I did, however, shut the ginger tom out. It may have been a cold night, but it was only 6.30pm, there wasn't snow on the ground, and most of all, this was a large, well fed, ginger gentleman cat wearing a reflective collar with a bell on. I am confident he will be around again, and I may donate some treats outside - if the weather permits.

2012-02-09T17:50:00.003Z

Robyn - You are absolutely right! Most people who comment on here are and the rest have comments advertising 'adult' items removed.

I do not have money to burn on pancakes, but I don't know how to take the batteries out of the smoke alarms, and I don't know even if I can, they were fitted by the fire brigade.

And I can cope with them, but OH can't. Making the batter, pouring the pancakes, keeping the door open and wafting - no problem. Dealing with OH, I cave - it's overpriced Aunt Bessies. I am ashamed but resigned.

Breakfast Battles

2012-02-09T13:15:00.003Z

Little bear was up at 6.20am, which before I had him I considered a mythical time, or a time that existed in theory but was never actually seen. Sigh. He had a blocked nose and was very unhappy. As I suspected, he is coming down with a dreadful cold. I expect it to hit on day one of half term holiday.

After being summoned by an imperious 'Mummy!' we tiptoed downstairs, and then addressed the thorny question of breakfast. 'Would you like cereal?' I ask. You would have thought I was asking him to eat poison. 'I-DO-NOT-WANT-CEREAL!' little bear said. He said it very loudly and several times. 'How about ricicles?' I asked. Little bear paused and suddenly was all interested smiles. 'What are ricicles?'

In this case, ricicles are what were delivered by Mr Asda instead of Grandad's sugar puffs, but I just provided a bowl. Little bear ate the biggest breakfast he has had for about a fortnight.

I am now thinking carefully about these matters. I have somehow to get a decent breakfast into him with the minimum of fuss. I also have to get a relatively healthy meal into him at night. I think I may explore cunning and strategy. Also a large variety of breakfast cereals.

Cynical Sybil

2012-02-09T11:53:00.001Z

In my email account there was a very plausible email confirming payment by me to Skype via paypal. Except I don't have Skype. Obviously something wrong!

So I didn't click on the very plausible link. Instead I went to the actual paypal site and checked there. No, nothing showing, no payment to skype, not hint of a problem. If I had clicked on the link no doubt someone, somewhere, would know my details for a paypal account. Perhaps it is just as well I didn't.

Memo to self - do not become complacent AND DO NOT CLICK ON LINKS YOU DO NOT KNOW!

Meal planning fail

2012-02-09T11:14:00.002Z

Darling father bought some nice looking pork chops from Sainsburys. I was very grateful and was mentally planning some whole for tea last night and some for a stir fry for tonight. Sigh. The chops were lovely and pink where they were exposed to the atmosphere within the packaging. They were lovely and green on the inside. I should have kept them and taken them back, but I binned them with a sort of 'ewwwwww!' reflex. At least they weren't wriggling.

I already had the potatoes and carrots on, plus stuffing ready to go in and gravy primed. So we had the mash, the carrots, the stuffing and the gravy with corned beef. I will start a new list with corned beef on it - again.

I actually had quite a bit of room in my freezer when I stashed the chicken fillets and the sausages as well. I am feeling quite good about things. I also had a delivery and there was plenty of room for the fish fingers and the frozen pancakes.

As a note about frozen pancakes. I can make batter, and I have successfully made batter in the past. I have also made pancakes successfully and while they were not lacy thin, were very tasty. And every time I have made pancakes I have set the alarm off. This also applies to eggy bread and fried bread. I managed to burn some fish fingers under the grill and they didn't set the alarm off, only the frying pan seems to have that knack. Pancake day is on its way, and little bear will have Views. And also frozen pancakes.

My grocery bill is creeping up slightly, so I shall continue to try and keep it down. However there are gaps in the freezer and gaps (very tiny ones) in the cupboards. I just need to keep working on it.

Also as a note to the corned beef. It was a substitution and I got Princes instead of Asda's own. The Princes had a sort of ring pull thingy at the bottom instead of a key, and it took me all my meagre strength to pull it. In fact, it was a really struggle to get the dratted tin open. And once I had got the bottom off the tin then I couldn't get the dratted meat out. I was banging it and trying to prise it with a thin knife and generally getting crosser and crosser until it shot out and bounced all over the table - I just caught it before it hit the floor. I do not approve of the new packaging of Princes.

Tactics and strategy

2012-02-08T13:48:00.002Z

I remember seeing something on NCIS about horse trading. You look at the best horse in the stable, and you start to push a deal. You push and push and push and push until the deal breaks. Then you make a hard but okay offer on the second best horse and get away with a bargain.

I suspect that little bear is doing that, hence him eating cold hot dogs for breakfast. I am looking back and thinking about some of his tantrums. I am thinking about some of the deals I cut just to get the day moving. I think I shall have to toughen up.

Fortunately little bear is terrified of being late, and he can be threatened with not being allowed to go to school, and he can be bribed with marshmallows. I think it comes down to - what do I really want and how do I get the best for little bear.

Little bear is very annoying

2012-02-08T09:50:00.002Z

Little bear is probably coming down with something gruesome - he is usually this awful just before he comes down with something green nosed and disgusting.

This morning, 7am, I heard a desperate cry of, 'Mummy! Mummy!' So I hurtle upstairs. 'Mummy, I can't find Ratatouille!' So I picked up the toy rat from next to little bear and hand it to him. It set the tone.

We go downstairs, and I ask him if he wants cereal for breakfast. This is met with expressions of absolute loathing. Just because he was demanding it yesterday doesn't mean he actually likes it again today. I make the usual suggestions and offer toast, weetabix, sugar puffs (cereal means cheerios), chocolate rice puffs (from approved food, a rare treat), toast and jam, porridge - all are utterly rejected. I start racking my brains. I am getting a bit desperate because I believe it important to have a good breakfast, but I can see that just handing him something is not going to work. Little bear announces, 'I need something NOW because my sweet tank and my healthy tank are empty down to my knees! You think of something, Mummy!' I hate it when he demands that I do his thinking for him, and it never ends well.

I take a deep breath, he is pushing his luck with this. In desperation I offer eggs, fish fingers, soup, beans and sausage, ham sandwich, cheese spread on crackers - all met with out right refusal. War openly breaks out when I refuse to give him sweets for breakfast. Marshmallows came from approved food yesterday and little bear noticed! He was NOT having marshmallows for breakfast.

So we stood in the kitchen, glaring at each other, and little bear noticed a half eaten packet of crisps that had been re-sealed. He asked (relatively nicely) for a crisp sandwich and he found some cold hot dog sausages in the fridge. I caved, reassuring myself that at least it wasn't marshmallows.

We had war over the sweatshirt for school, I insisted that he wore a clean one. We had war over finding his reading book, which I eventually tracked down. We had war about him dressing himself at glacial speed and we had war about getting out of the dratted door. He should be just about coming down with whatever is lurking in time for half term. Sigh.

Duty calls

2012-02-07T14:30:00.002Z

I am about to get ready to sort out little bear's stuff, collect him from school and then take him to martial arts. I really don't want to. It is cold, it is slippy and I am irrationally scared.

However he is in a tournament in a few weeks' time, so needs must. I am sure that little bear will be fine as well (though frozen in the hall!) So I am going to be brave. I really wish I didn't have to.

Cold!

2012-02-07T13:14:00.002Z

I am sooooo cold

So I have put a casserole in, beef with tinned tomatoes, a wallop of red wine (darling father provided!), mushrooms, onions and olives.

Tomorrow is sausage and mash, which is quite warming. Then I will see what is in the cupboards and freezer.

I have just been trying to tweak my grocery order. I have nibbled away at it, but it is still over £70 without alcohol. I think I shall have to go back and revisit. We had some stuffed chicken thighs (bought ready stuffed, I am not risking myself with a boning knife!) that were really, really nice and I put them on the order. However, just because they were nice and we all enjoyed them doesn't mean that I need to get them again immediately. They are not the cheapest of meals, £3.50 for four stuffed thighs, but there was actually plenty of meat and stuffing, so it served four very easily.

(I am uneasily aware that if I did the same meal myself it would cost a lot less. However, realistically, I don't think I could do it, and until I can, I will buy them).

I have been doing really well for the last month, but I can feel myself slipping. I really need to watch myself! I am going to go and look again at the order. The stocks need to be reduced!

Little bear made it to school

2012-02-07T11:26:00.002Z

Not all the snow from yesterday melted, and what was left and all the water lying around froze overnight. It was slippy, treacherous and crunchy underfoot with far too much black ice.

The walk to school is measured in yards. It isn't a long distance, and even in driving rain and wind it isn't that bad. I normally leave five minutes before the bell goes, and that allows for little bear dawdling.

In this weather, however, there is the slope. The downside of living on a side of a hill, the basic geographical reality, is that there is a steep incline no matter how I go. And I am terrified of falling - I have dislocated my left shoulder three times now, sprained both ankles and a wrist, I only dislocated my right shoulder once but it took two years to heal, and I have torn ligaments. Some of the fear is rational, if I land awkward I will almost certainly get hurt. On the other hand a lot of it is irrational. There is no real reason to think I would inevitably hurt myself, and I may not fall at all. I am convinced that the nervous and tentative little steps I use make things worse.

So I crunched over the grit that OH had put down Sunday night, crunched over the ridged snow and ice that is covering our 'road' which is about medieval standard, and along in front of the bathroom showroom improbably tucked away behind and in front of the shops. There was a slight incline up to the slip road to Matalan, but nothing outrageous, perhaps 25 degrees. The slip road to Matalan is lovely and ridged and has had lots of traffic, so crossing that was lovely. Then there were the choices. Normally I walk down the grass bank on to the path that goes along the side of the school. This is steep, and of course lovely and icy and slippy. I could have walked up to the top of the hill (steep incline, around 45 degrees) and then back down, and kept to pavements with a hand rail or fence to grab should I slip. However that was likely to take a lot longer and be more slippery. I could go the other way along the road, down a shortish slope which isn't good but not as bad, along the dual carriageway on a pretty clear path and then into school, but little bear was already fretting about being late. I went down the bank. Actually, looking back, I went down the bank at the same place I saw someone fall yesterday.

They say a coward dies a thousand deaths, but the hero just dies once. All the edging along, with those gripper things on my shoes, with little bear skidding and sliding and running on the clear bits, was extremely bad for my stress levels. Then I went up the five separate slopes to drop little bear off in his classroom. Then down the five separate (cleared and gritted) slopes, out of the school, along the dual carriageway, picked up the paper and then along the medieval standard road with lots of stones and mud to break up the ice. It will be fine when I pick up little bear.

Of course, tonight we are due a long freeze so tomorrow we start all over again. I am now really looking forward to summer.

Evil cat's test results

2012-02-06T14:15:00.003Z

I picked up the test results of evil cat's urine sample - extracted under extreme duress and welding gloves.

It is very dilute. It is cloudy. It has a low ph. There are traces of blood. And yesterday OH noticed that she was now very, very, very thin. She also took one look at the snow, gave me the, 'you've got to be kidding' look and then came straight back inside. Her fur is getting that bit thinner.

Yesterday she nailed little bear. Well, when I say that she nailed him, little bear fell against the sofa where evil cat was sleeping and she gave him a generalised swipe. She then went back to sleep while little bear wailed and cried and generally gave the impression that he had lost a limb. I think it is because he was feeling poorly, but he was insistent he was bleeding lots and lots - just invisibly. There wasn't an obvious mark at the time, but now I can see a very, very fine line on his forehead near his hair and nowhere near his eyes. This may be as a result of the fussing rather than grumpy evil cat.

Poor old evil cat. We all know that tests are not the way forward, she would be desperately distressed by them and I am not sure how much could be done for such a spiky old lady. As she is curled up comfortably on a soft blanket in front of the fire, I don't think she is complaining too much. I shall keep her as comfortable as possible for as long as possible.

What little bear and the class bear did

2012-02-06T10:35:00.003Z

The class bear on its snow throne. I may add that the picture does not do little bear's smile justice - he gets sweets from ladies at bus stops. He had a marvellous, if brief, play in the snow. I would like to say also that he is wearing a matched pair of gloves, which is currently a minor miracle.

Poorly little bear

2012-02-06T10:25:00.003Z

Little bear was up in the middle of the night with earache. Poor little man was so fed up. He came downstairs and slept with me, going absolutely out like a light after a hug, a fuss and a dose of calpol, to be wide awake and demanding at 6am.

I slept on the fold out on the floor. You would not believe how my joints are aching now. Regardless of the effects of the weather, a disturbed night's sleep has left me flattened. I was not looking forward to a day keeping little bear at home.

Little bear wasn't staying home. Little bear declared war - he wanted to go to school! I weighed it up as best as I was able. On the one hand, it was good that little bear went to school. He would catch up on his sleep tonight. If he was poorly then by tomorrow he would be obviously poorly enough to stay home. And I could perhaps steal a nap while he was out.

If he stayed at home he may prevent getting a really bad dose of earache, and I wouldn't have to go out in the snow. I am also terrified (irrationally) of going out in the snow - I've dislocated and sprained too many bits of me to want to risk a fall. And I know when he gets to school he is going to race around like a lunatic and not want to stay inside and the cold will not help his earache.

Little bear was insistent, so I tottered and slid with him to school, the few hundred yards total distance seeming like an endurance run. I am now waiting for a phone call from school, but to be fair he did seem fine this morning.

Teddy Bear of Doom

2012-02-03T17:37:00.001Z

We have the class bear! I was given no chance to duck this, it has come home this weekend as a reward for little bear's good behaviour - I'm doomed!

Apparently all we need is a photo or two and a few sentences. I feel the responsibility. I could lose it (not impossible at all). Evil cat could happen to it (less likely, but not unimaginable). Darling father could paint it white (he's painted a lot of things white this week, mainly door frames). Anything could happen. I have never, ever wanted the class bear, the class pet or the class mascot home.

Too late.

I shall refer this firmly to OH.

How we used to live

2012-02-03T13:50:00.002Z

I watched the second part of 'I, Caveman' last night, it had been recorded for a bit and I knew that OH and darling father would enjoy that sort of programme. It was described as a documentary showing modern people living as cavemen for two weeks. We heckled it. It seemed very odd to just drop a lot of people without adequate training into the middle of a survival situation which would need a very different skill set than modern day living. For those interested in hard history, it is not recommended.

I was just thinking, only 100 years ago, my life would have been so different. Just the sheer hard labour of doing washing is such a contrast to bunging it in the washer and pressing a switch. No refrigeration means that I would have had to bought things in every day, and no tupperware containers meant that storing things like flour would have meant expensive glass jars, or rust prone tins. And that is if the food itself was safe!

Tonight I will be taking little bear to piano in the cold. Poor little mite will complain, but he will be well wrapped up and I look at what was normal even in my childhood, when cars were rare and waiting at bus stops was normal, we are really very, very lucky. When I got him dressed downstairs because the fire meant that the room was warmer, I was so grateful that I was not forced to either be cold or to haul heavy and expensive buckets of coal from coal house to fire side, nor did I need to worry about ice inside the house. Darling uncle is having problems with his fire because the coal in his coal bunker has frozen. And actually, if little bear was getting dressed upstairs, it wasn't actually that cold, not compared with outside.

I feel extremely blessed.

Beautiful morning

2012-02-03T09:33:00.002Z

It is lovely here, sunny and crisp. So when I forgot little bear's book bag I didn't mind going back and then out again to drop it off into the office.

I am not, however, looking forward to taking little bear to piano lessons, he is going to be grumbling fiercely. However it is not like the centre of Europe where the cold is really dangerous, and he will be well wrapped up. And cross.

I can see ironing happening, there is enough to keep me nice and warm for a while.

Sambuca

2012-02-02T21:48:00.002Z

I have just had a very small amount of Sambuca with a lot of lemonade. Actually, I am still having it. Sambuca seems to go a long way. It is a bit like drinking vodka laced with aniseed balls and very pleasant. And as a very small amount has lasted me all evening, it is very economical and I am not confuzzled and so able to still look after little bear. All I can do is drink a little sip at a time, it is lovely, but quite intense.

Depending on whether OH and darling father raid it, a bottle should last a satisfyingly long time. Then I may try the licorice flavour. Or the raspberry, or the violet....

Knot knitting

2012-02-02T19:35:00.002Z

I should not be let loose near a yarn over needle. Honestly, one simple action, one tale of woe. All I was trying to do was a row of eyelet holes in a little jacket for Nice Mr Next Door's daughter. It's like spare stitches were raining down on the needle - mind you, little bear was supervising.

And I have put in my smallest ever order to Approved Food. Little bear can be bribed with marshmallows. They are not ideal, but are low fat. I have ordered a shed load, and a few other bits, but hardly anything, it came in at less than £30 and that included postage. All the things that I was tempted by, I could just imagine piling up on the work surface along with all the olives and the stuffing.

Also, need to not burn fish fingers. Little bear was disappointed in me.

Meal planning

2012-02-02T12:05:00.002Z

I caved and we had a takeaway last night. I have got to try and work out if OH's tummy will allow certain foods or not - the jar of chilli cooking sauce may have to be shelved and I may have to think of something else.

My mind is completely and totally blank about what to happen in the next few days. I think I will just look the night before and keep my fingers crossed. The cupboards are very slowly emptying, so eventually I will get there.

All I have to do is take it one meal at a time.

Junk food is bad for your health

2012-02-01T16:34:00.001Z

So far little bear has choked on a crisp and then rubbed his eye with a salty finger. They should have a hazard warning

Definitely no catnip drops

2012-02-01T14:51:00.002Z

After the catnip drops comes, well, second hand cat food. As in, evil cat has a poorly tummy and can't help herself. Actually, she has been soooo bad she has been sick on lino.

btw the quickest way to find cat sick in a kitchen is to go in with bare feet. When I am half asleep, the cat is going crackers for breakfast and little bear is demanding extra honey on cereal, I have no chance!

I am blaming the cat nip drops. She has been begging to go out so she can eat grass, but when I have opened the door she has just given me a 'you have got to be kidding - who turned off the fire' look and stalked back inside.

She is now sulking. As this means she isn't giving me problems, I can live with that.

Leeds City Market

2012-02-01T10:35:00.002Z

Leeds City Market is an amazing building. And it used to be a real hot house of all sorts of little stalls. However there are now more and more empty stalls.

Over ten years ago I spoke to someone who sold ironing board covers and dishclothes from a chair in a corner in Leeds Market. She was saying then that the market would go downhill now the new manager had taken over. Because the first thing he did was put rents up, like he did in the last market he managed, which had shut down. And now it is not worth selling low cost or niche items on the market because of the cost of the stalls. They are talking about closing 25% of the market but it used to be stuffed!

The same thing happened with the Corn Exchange. It went to cheap, cheerful and slightly odd to high class and empty. The Dark Arches were redeveloped back in the eighties, and again when from hippy cheap and cheerful to empty. It is quite depressing. I don't think those on the council planning board have ever shopped in a market.

Of course, there is also the question of location. The market is next to the West Yorkshire Playhouse, the BBC building and just by the Quarry House building which is where several government departments relocated to from London (it has a Ming the Merciless death ray on the top and is vast - I've got lost there! http://s0.geograph.org.uk/photos/07/37/073782_562565ce.jpg) On the other side there is the future site of John Lewis and at the front a few yards further down Vicar Lane there is the Victoria quarter with Harvey Nichols and Vivienne Westwood - designer shops literally yards from cut price fruit and veg. Perhaps the council are hoping that the market can be redeveloped to suit the tone.

It does beg the question of where the poor people are going to shop.

Bedtime

2012-02-01T09:21:00.003Z

Little bear is obviously catching up with some serious sleep. When he staggers downstairs in the morning his bed looks hardly slept in - he is just flaking out.

He still pushes his luck at night time. Last night OH was out, so little bear missed his usual round of stories with little bear and Dr Who rescuing the school from Sontarans and such so I thought I would let him have ONE extra story. Who was I kidding.

Little bear had brought home his new reading books. So he read carefully through all three. He always loses a bit of focus on the last one as he is tired but he enjoyed himself. (Green level, Rigby Rocket, no idea what that means). Then he insisted that he read his new library book, which actually was a compilation of six stories. I read that with a little help from him. And then little bear negotiated a final story. The final story turned out to be a collection of Kipper stories - four of them! He did pretty well.

But he did go to sleep pretty quickly, so it was worth it!

What to do with Olives

2012-01-31T23:24:00.003Z

I like olives. I know that they are not to everyone's taste, but I do like them. That is why I got several jars from Approved Food. I just never get round to eating them as a snack. I also never seem to get around to putting them into a casserole of beef, tomatoes, onions, peppers and a generous slosh of red wine. Darling father does not leave generous sloshes of red wine around. Besides, it's usually a 'throw stuff in on autopilot' sort of thing when I do a casserole.

These olives are taking up room on my counter - room that is sorely needed! Beef casserole with tomatoes, onions, peppers and (possibly) red wine coming up. But I am wracking my brain for other ideas.

Also - memo to self - just because I like something doesn't mean I shall actually eat it, so don't buy stuff!!!!

The tomatoes, onions, peppers, olives and red wine could also work for lamb, and I have some diced lamb...

Not at her time of life

2012-01-31T14:33:00.003Z

My brother brought over a Cat Christmas stocking for evil cat on Sunday. OH is not really a fan of giving cats Christmas presents. He says that he will consider it when they start acting like Christians. All cat owners will know the chances of that

Evil cat half opened an eye at the tinkly balls and the fluffy mouse. She couldn't be bothered. Today I put down some of the catnip treats for her, I thought it would cheer her up.

It wasn't the best of successes. First of all she didn't actually eat any, but she did sniff them. Then she went absolutely loop the loop, hurtling round and being a complete lunatic. She was bounding up and down stairs, she was doing a handbrake turn around corners and the fluffy mouse was getting a real beating. It lasted for about ten, action packed, nail biting minutes. She is now grumpily sleeping it off. I think I may donate the rest of the catnip treats to Oscar next door. Not only would it be very funny to see such a dignified gentleman cat lose his composure, but evil cat's bones are a bit too old for this.

Weather

2012-01-31T10:08:00.002Z

I am not happy. It is not snowing here. It is likely that a lot of surrounding areas will get snow but we will escape it. However the sky is saying 'snow', the temperature is saying 'snow' and I always get extremely sleepy just before snow - and I can barely keep my eyes open.

Sausages tonight. To get over the problem of things defrosting and then looking suspicious, I am going to get out what I need for tomorrow this afternoon and then defrosting in the fridge. I am currently considering the pork chops but sliced and fried and cooked with a sauce.

I think today is a trundling sort of day, to see what I can trundle along with. I shall take anything at all as an achievement.

Knitting fail

2012-01-30T22:28:00.003Z

I can't do basic lace knitting - I can't! I have just magically conjured up 50% more stitches than I should have in a single row, and I have no idea how I did it.

Grump, grumble, complain and moan. I am so fed up that evil cat stopped trying to sit on my throat.

Back to the drawing board for the baby clothes.

Oops!

2012-01-30T13:02:00.002Z

I've just found a load of Christmas cards which I forgot to send. I am sure you can imagine the scene, I put the last half of the Christmas cards down safe to keep them out of the reach of a giddy little bear, and completely forgot them.

I don't think I'll send them - I am just too mortified. I hope they will forgive me.

More and more knitting!

2012-01-30T12:33:00.003Z

Mr Nice Next Door's daughter is having a little girl very soon, and has just asked me to knit some things for her as she can't find them in the shops.

So I have purchased a large quantity of pink yarn from Deramores, even more from a local yarn shop that I hadn't previously visited (but will again, it is the Wool Shop on Tong Road and it is lovely, bright, airy and inviting - the people are lovely there as well) and some top up patterns for the new style of baby clothes - before Nice Mr Next Door's daughter said she preferred the old style. So I've dug those out again.

I am looking forward to catching up some listening time with Classic FM and a large quantity of very pink. I am also knitting some scarves (pink) for her two older daughters, but I can rattle those off in one evening.

Of course, that puts off the jacket, but that put off finishing a sweater, and that put off finishing a slipover...

I MUST FINISH THESE!

Meal planning fail

2012-01-29T22:08:00.002Z

I have looked at the week ahead and considered my options, and reached a complete blank.

Today we were supposed to have lamb stew as I couldn't do the lamb stew yesterday as I needed to get little bear out of the house to give OH a break which meant I didn't really get time to set the stew off before I went out and I was not keen on leaving it in case OH forgot and it was too late when I got in. We had remoska potatoes, tinned ham and baked beans instead.

Today the lamb stew was ruled out as the freezing and defrosting of the lamb meant that it smelt a bit funny and looked a bit green and I still haven't forgotten the food poisoning before Christmas so I bunged in some cooking bacon that needed using up.

Interestingly, we have no more tinned ham or corned beef in the cupboard. We do have some sauces, including some condensed vegetable soup which was bought to be a cooking sauce but has never really been used. There is less diced meat in the freezer than I thought as well. The stocks are running down. However it is important for me not to stock up until I have actually seen the back of the cupboard. I will be buying in one more tin of corned beef, but no more, not even the ham. I have some smaller tins of chicken that will do at a pinch and which should be used up first.

One of the big things that I have stocked up on is cuppa soups. I use them in making casseroles and as a base for a proper soup with bits of food in. They don't really go off, not like meat or vegetables, but I think I shall have a look at some of the sell by dates and perhaps get rid of any that are seriously antique. I think I shall start having them for lunch as well. It will be an ideal solution - it will cost less than even a home made sandwich and possibly I will eat less calories.

Tomorrow is, I think, a vegetable pasta day. More than that I can't think.

Always a proud mum

2012-01-27T15:31:00.002Z

Little bear has got a certificate saying, 'Star of the Week'.

If that is the sort of thing that they spend their fund raising on, even if little bear gets nothing more, I am happy to support it. I think it is a great way to encourage kids, and something professional and not produced on an iffy home printer looks so much more encouraging.

And I am sooooooo proud of him!

Surprise Clutterbust

2012-01-27T12:27:00.003Z

The kitchen is a health hazard, and we have just had people in servicing the boiler. After they went I looked round and my heart sank. And there is nowhere to put everything.

Once upon a time I used to be really good about clearing stuff out and watching sell by dates, but that is a while ago. So I started pulling stuff out of my 'flavours' cupboard. It has dried veg, herbs, spices, sauces, pickles, gravy granules etc. I have only done half a job so far, just a swipe over the shelf and a rummage, but I have already cleared out a load. Some things I am not getting rid of regardless of the sell by date, because for example chilli powder loses strength rather than becoming mouldy. Other stuff I threw just because I was sick of looking at it, and it was time to get rid. Jams keep regardless no matter what the date says, but if I haven't used it in two years, I am not going to use it now.

One thing I have done, which I quite like, is use a glass jar that looks like an old, squat sweet jar and put a lot of loose stock cubes in. I stocked up on the stock cubes ages ago when there was a sale on at Approved Food. All the red beef, orange and gold chicken and green vegetable cubes look almost sweet like. The jar is a substitute for a kilner style jar which I wanted from an Asda delivery for rice, but I am not confident of how air tight it is.

I am about to go back and tackle the herbs and spices jars, which I keep together on the shelves in old plastic biscuit tin boxes - which I seriously would recommend to anyone! I have spices in an orange box and herbs in a green box and when I am making a dish I can just pull out the box and rummage. However I think I need a really good rummage tonight.

As for tea tonight - darling father has requested meatballs, the ones he brought back from IKEA. So meatballs it is.

Meal planning

2012-01-27T09:18:00.003Z

Last night was a disaster. I had defrosted some diced turkey, but it seemed a bit 'off' in the middle and the sauce seemed designed for three times the amount of meat. I got a takeaway. Sigh. I really enjoyed the takeaway as well. Poor darling father got a meal to himself and I think it nearly sunk him - it was huge and he just seemed to keep going and going.

Tonight is mince and potatoes. Tomorrow I am going to try out my new stockpot and do scouse. Actually, it is more likely to be lamb stew as I plan on putting all sorts of heretical things in like barley, and I am not sure I have the right sort of potatoes.

The UK is a comparatively tiny place compared to the USA, France or Germany, but there really are differences in cooking between the regions. Not in the 'this is a regional recipe from a regional cookbook' type stuff, but just the different standbys that get dished up when mum doesn't want to follow a recipe. The big difference between regions is shown in local markets. When I was young we got cheese and bacon from Chester market. Even now, with the introduction of chilli flavoured cheeses and weird combinations, you still get the slabs of cheese made in farmhouses nearby. You also get all sorts of bacon products, which I just don't see in supermarkets or in the market in Leeds. The thing I really miss from there and from Ellesmere Port is a product I knew as Ulster Fry, which is probably mainly bacon, stuffed with fat and salt and really, really tasty. Leeds has a lot more beef on sale and a lot less lamb, and the pies here are a lot nicer and there are a lot more of them.

So I can't go onto the local market and ask for scouse potatoes, which should be lovely and floury and disintegrating. But I can do a lamb stew that is more or less okay.

Evil cat has a nice fight

2012-01-26T14:41:00.002Z

It was time for evil cat's check up. So the vet kindly came out to visit. I called Nice Mr Next Door in for reinforcements.

Evil cat initially regarded the stranger with suspicion, but was more concerned with the scraps of ham I had used to tempt her into the living room before shutting all the doors. And she suffered her eyes, ears and teeth being checked with no more than a token hiss. All is well and her teeth are really good for her elderly age.

When it came to trying to check heart, lungs, bladder and joints, however, it was a different story. Evil cat fought. She swore, spat, yowled, hissed, scratched and struggled. She turned herself inside out. She nearly got away again and again and again. She did not surrender! A small tabby, not much more than a kilo, or a bag of sugar, was taking on all comers with venom and determination.

Nice Mr Next Door was actually brilliant, he held her (I couldn't - she is so flexible!) and he was so good that the vet managed to insert a needle and get a urine sample. Evil cat redoubled her efforts to escape but it was no use - she got a vitamin shot and long lasting antibiotics as creaky, skinny old girls like her can be prone to infections.

The urine sample was very clear, which is not a good sign. Her kidneys are not getting better, but that is not expected. She may have a little hyperthyroidism, which would explain why she can trough three or four sachets of cat food, scraps of ham, scraps of chicken and steal shamelessly any time there is fish and still weigh less than a bottle of cola. But the hyperthyroidism helps balance her kidney problems, and she is still a feisty, assertive, determined bag of bones. I expect to be blogging about her for quite some time yet.

The old warrior is resting from battle on the sofa, looking grumpy. I gave the vet a box of Roses - it was the least I could do!

Budget? What Budget?

2012-01-26T09:54:00.002Z

Little bear has a larger than average head. That is, his head is slightly larger than average, though modesty isn't that brilliant either. So t-shirts and jumpers have to be stretched to go over, OH is the same.

Last night, as once again he got his polo shirt all caught up in his ears, and he was undressing himself so he got himself tangled, I had a bit of a light bulb moment. So far he has been wearing lovely, light weight, easy to care for polo shirts. This morning I ordered some white proper shirts in his size.

I know it will mean extra ironing and it will be a little less informal looking (still my little baby), but little bear will have that extra bit of comfort.

Of course while I was on the site (George, through quidco) a few extras slipped into the basket, like some school sweatshirts (that are fine going over his head) in the next size up as his are looking faded and a bit short, and some socks as I swear there is a sock eating monster. I also got some socks for OH as well as his are looking dreadful.

So there is £40 gone. Fortunately I am doing okayish with the shopping. I have bad days. But the delivery is coming in at around £30 per week (without alcohol) at the moment, and I think I can get that down as well. All I need to do is focus.

Knitting nervously

2012-01-25T22:37:00.002Z

As a present I got given a book and some knitting wool and I went for it to start knitting a swirl jacket. I love the way they look, I really, really, really want to wear it, and it looks lovely to knit and it's knitted in one piece and only one seam so no second sleeve syndrome. I started it this weekend.

Step one - cast on 569 stitches (yes, five hundred and sixty nine knitting stitches). I've done that, with some supervision from little bear.

Step two - purl row one, knit row two, purl row three. I've done that and quite enjoyed it.

Step three - join the round and knit it as a tube. Well, I think it's okay, but I suspect that I may have twisted it and that I may have added a stitch. Even with the extra long circular needle, it's hard to sort out whether it's twisted or not until after I have knitted several more rows. If it turns out twisted, however, and I have to unpick then I shall take it as a learning curve. I really, really want to wear the jacket. It may take me some time.

2012-01-25T13:14:00.002Z

There is a job vacancy at a place I used to work. I could work the childcare (fingers crossed, pending poorly little bear etc).

But he would miss out on his martial arts and piano. I really don't want him to lose out on those. There must be ways around that. Perhaps a childminder instead of the out of school club on the day he does his martial arts plus re-jigging the piano.

I don't know that I could do it though - it has been a long time and they may not want me back at all. I am not sure I could cope. I am really not sure that I could cope - I loved the firm I worked for before, but it was very high pressure. The money would make a real difference, though.

Bottom line, I don't think I could cope. And that has just about broken my heart.

Let there be light

2012-01-24T21:10:00.003Z

The long life bulb in the living room finally blew. The room is a funny one to light, and there always seem to be dim corners, though I am not exactly sure why. So I went for a high wattage bright long life bulb, 25 watts, the equivalent of 150 watts.

Dear heaven that bulb is bright! It is bright, brilliant and brutal. I feel that I could wear sunglasses. Of course every speck of dust and cobweb is mercilessly revealed, but to be honest, you are too dazed and dazzled to take much notice. OH asked when the autopsy began, and it is like the lights that seem to be shone on the departed on programmes like NCIS, or like the special effects when aliens are landing and there is a bright light.

It's great for knitting. It may mean that we use the uplighter more, however.

Keeping quiet at the school gate

2012-01-24T19:51:00.002Z

Little bear has just gone up a level in his reading books. He has just read his latest three to me, and he struggled a bit to read 'beautiful' and 'collected' but otherwise was fine. I think the level is for five to six years old. It looks like I should perhaps have not got all the previous books in so eagerly. I thought he would have at least six months at that level. Library here we come!

I am sooooo proud. I am also not mentioning this in the queue to go in to school. I shall, however, continue to boast shamelessly on here.

I am really proud, not least because he keeps reading and keeps trying. That will get him through a lot.

Meal plans

2012-01-24T17:15:00.002Z

I didn't go out to day because there was a reasonable chance of snow and I could be going for some distance. I had planned to go out tomorrow to take the coat back when the weather forecast is better but now I am getting my Approved Food order delivered. The vet is visiting Thursday and the central heating boiler is getting serviced Friday. I shall have to return the coat by post - it is at least an hour each way to return the coat and time is running out.

So, time to rethink the food. Tonight is mince, because I had hoped to be able to give that to everyone but have a bath while everyone was eating, as I was supposed to be going out tomorrow and then I could have mine later, when little bear was in bed and OH and darling father were out. This is no longer necessary.

So, tonight is mince. The next time I see a deadline looming for dinner is Friday, so I could bung in a warming casserole then. I am just feeling soooo tired. However tomorrow, when I am hopefully a little less tired, I am going to excavate my cupboards and just make something out of there. I am also worried about some of the tins going rusty as nothing I seem to do stops the damp there. I may feel tired, but I am also feeling quite confident. And the cupboard needs emptying!

Little bear is officially poorly

2012-01-24T17:14:00.002Z

Little bear has swollen tonsils and a slightly reddened ear. The dr has given us calpol and said it is a virus. Little bear's cough is not on his chest, even though he does his best to complain soulfully about his cough.

The question is, if I tell the school, will they expect him to stay home as he is now actually getting better.

Not sure how to react

2012-01-24T09:20:00.002Z

I love boasting about little bear, and I love his sense of humour and his giggles and how loving he is. I slept on the floor of his room last night and the first thing I heard this morning was, 'Mummy, I love you!' And I love boasting about how bright he is.

Except yesterday when I went through his book bag I didn't find a letter. I did note that he had done all his word boxes, it had been marked 'super all right' and that we had some more to go through. And today I bumped into two mums discussing the letter that they had received being quite 'harsh' (their description) about how the children need to practice more.

I need to practice not saying what he is up to.

Pretty Flowers

2012-01-23T22:55:00.002Z

When we were at the Tropical House little bear spotted some flowers a little girl had picked. I explained to him that we didn't pick the flowers (such as they were in January) in the park as they were there for everyone to enjoy. Little bear then asked if we could buy some flowers. Then he giggled and giggled and giggled as I explained.

Evil cat eats flowers and then is sick. It goes something like this - nom nom nom clunk, because she knocks the vase over, nom nom nom, clunk, because she knocks the vase over again. Then she sings the 'About to be Sick' song, yowwwwwl, yowwwwwl, yowwwwwl, yowwwwwl. Then she makes the 'About to be Sick' noise, blarp, blarp, blarp. Then she is sick - bleurgh! And then I have to clean it up.

Little bear did suggest I just put the flowers where evil cat couldn't get them, but his heart wasn't in it. I think he was just looking forward to the 'About to be Sick' song. I didn't buy the flowers.

Meal planning

2012-01-23T16:10:00.003Z

Yesterday was a bit of a hiccup when OH was a bit stressed about the pink in the chicken (saltpetre from the bacon stuffing) so we had a tin of corned beef with chips and veggies.

Today we have the chicken cooked beyond reason with (hopefully) roasted parsnips and peas (using up the sprouts for darling father and little bear).

Tomorrow, little bear permitting and he seems fine at the moment, I will be going out to Crossgates which is a huge expedition, to return the coat. However, about ten years ago, there was an exceedingly good butchers there, which I may take advantage of. There isn't huge amounts of room in the freezer yet, but I am sure I can manage to fit in a few sausages and some bacon chops (I love bacon chops). If the butchers is no more then I will call in at Leeds Market on the way home. As it is a huge trek, I think I need to have a casserole simmering in the slow cooker.

Wednesday I can see what I have managed to glean from the butchers/Leeds Market. Thursday I am thinking fish, and Friday mince.

I shall see what happens. However I still have not made a list of everything that is in my cupboards and freezer and until I do that I won't get ahead. I noticed when I was scraping together my grocery order that a certain jar of sauce was finally on offer again. I didn't get any. The cupboards are still too full.

Warning, Grumpy Sybil

2012-01-23T13:01:00.005Z

Little bear is poorly. He has a sore throat, ear ache and a cough. However he does not do the 'pallid and listless on the sofa' routine unless he is at death's door. He goes hyper.

This morning he bounced up at seven and announced how much he loved me. I was aching, fed up and really wanted five more minutes, but how can you resist a five year old who tells you how much he loves you.

This morning was extra hustle and bustle. He was too cold. He was too warm. He wanted cereal. He didn't want cereal. He did want cereal with lots of honey. He loved me lots and lots, more than the universe (I must have been looking tense at this point). He had not lost his glove, daddy must have put it somewhere. He really loved me, twenty million times (I was definitely looking tense at yet another missing glove). I hadn't shouted at this point, but I was definitely not feeling warm and fuzzy. Little bear was full of sunshine, but with over bright eyes and very pink cheeks.

Then the walk to school. I am not bright eyed and bushy tailed, he is full of energy and over excited. He runs ahead of me (strictly forbidden) and starts hurtling round with the other kids. Then the bell goes, which is a signal for him to hold my hand as we start filing in (queuing is so strictly enforced!). He didn't turn up. He was nowhere to be seen and my rule is that I will let him run around (let off steam before happening to the teachers) but he has to stay within line of sight. He was with a friend a little way back, but that was not the point.

I think everyone in the queue jumped as I shouted his name. Little bear ignored me for a moment and then looked round. 'Get here!' I said (locally this is very soft, I don't swear at little bear which is unheard of). 'Right, why didn't you come to me when the bell went?' Little bear did his usual, which is to shout 'sorry' very aggressively. I was not being put off. 'That is not a reason, why didn't you come here?' Little bear muttered about 'don't know' and I led him into the cloak room.

I mentioned to the assistant as I went in that little bear had a sore throat, ear ache and cough. I also said that he had had baby nurofen, and that they would need gin. In the time it took me to say this while hanging up his coat little bear had vanished. The school is very strict that parents are expected to take the child right to the carpet where register is taken and pick them up from there, I was unimpressed. I caught up with him a few yards in, gave him kisses and then left. I can't keep him at home when he is so active, especially as they are so strict about attendance. However I feel very worried, and a little guilty, especially about the shouting.

I will pick him up in two hours time and again he will be on fast forward. However as he currently has no attention span, he will be bored, he will not know what to do, he will be bored, can I teach him to knit (not at this moment!), he's bored...

I have a doctor's appointment for him tomorrow after school. It is quite likely that this is all viral and that I will just have to tough it out. Really, it is little bear that is suffering, although he seems quite jolly about the whole thing. I also have a lot of sympathy for the poor little man. All I can think, though, is please let it be over soon.

2012-01-23T12:58:00.002Z

Hazel - thank you, I am too sleep deprived to think of that, but I have at least got a further email, so I have a clue of sorts. That nugget of information is filed away.

Morgan - With little bear I can do the, 'What did I just say? And what did it mean?' routine. I don't often use it on adults, but at some point I will break and use it on a shop assistant or cafe worker who hasn't listened. I don't want to do that, people who work in shops and cafes have a lot to put up with, and I don't want to add to it. However, when I say that I don't want cream, I actually don't want cream. When I say I prefer to use the checkout rather than self service, I actually mean I want to use the checkout. Honest. I'm not lying about my weight or bank balance, why do you think I would make it up? (and breathe...)

Why do I say anything

2012-01-23T09:12:00.002Z

Speaking to darling uncle, I mentioned that I had lost all the numbers from my phone.

Me 'I don't have the energy to explain, I am exhausted, I am getting off now.'
DU 'I've got the numbers here'
Me 'Thanks, but I haven't got the energy to write them down, and I can't see a pen, I'll get them later, I really need to get off the phone and get some sleep.'
DU 'The first number is...'

At this point I snapped and asked him what I had just said. It does seem to be a recurring theme at the moment where I say 'no' to something, or that I don't want something, and it is as if I haven't said a word.

All I can say, after a night of getting up at least once an hour to put the blankets back on little bear's bed I am on my knees. And the email that lets you track a delivery from Approved Food so I know what time the delivery is due - I've managed to delete that as well. I wouldn't mind, I haven't got round to deleting all the rubbish in my inbox, just the useful stuff. Sigh.

Not looking good for sleep

2012-01-22T22:19:00.002Z

Tonight I am sleeping on the fold out chair on little bear's bedroom floor. He has earache, a sore throat and a nasty cough. I expect a broken night, like last night, though he has had calpol and often if you can get to sleep then you can carry on sleeping even when the pain relief wears off.

As for school tomorrow - I have no idea. On the one hand, I don't want to send him in poorly. On the other hand he has had three days off since September and I don't want trouble from the school for not sending him in.

I shall have to see how he is tomorrow.

Darn and poot

2012-01-22T14:37:00.002Z

I have managed to wipe every single phone number saved on my phone and I still can't get rid of the silly envelope that says I have a msg even though I haven't.

Darn, darn, darn. Some of the numbers I can't get again. On the bright side, though, it saves me from a job on the list of going through all the numbers on the phone and getting rid of the obsolete ones - I have about a dozen for darling father and only one of them work.

Darn, darn, darn.

Busy Day

2012-01-21T21:22:00.002Z

OH gave little bear and I a lift to the martial arts academy where the extra lesson was being held. He had a good time and did some sparring - I am not sure he is entirely cut out for martial arts. He spent a lot of time looking in the mirror at the martial arts' room and he was practicing his charming smile on the instructor, so perhaps he is a lover not a fighter. As long as he is happy and it is safe (and it is so safe, the instructor is really vigilant about it!) I don't mind.

It was when the session finished that the challenge began. The academy is in the middle of nowhere, well, actually on an industrial estate between a series of dual carriageways. If you do not have a car, you have a challenge. Of course, not knowing the area, it took me a while to figure out which direction the buses were going in.

I think if it had been me, it may have been worth it walking into Leeds centre. However little bear's tummy was empty RIGHT TO THE BOTTOM. He explained this at length and detail to me. So we hunted for a bus stop. As we found a particularly interesting set of crossings where two four lane carriageways met with a dual carriageway and a minor road to a set of tower blocks, I spotted a really useful bus stop, where we could get a bus to Roundhay Park and the Tropical House. So on we hopped and trundled out to Roundhay Park with little bear explaining to me very clearly that he really wanted something to eat and we should visit the cafe first.

We visited the cafe first. Little bear was so hungry that he ate all of his ham sandwich, without complaint or comment, before attacking his chocolate muffin. The chocolate muffin did prove a bit much for him, but he gallantly helped me out by eating half the cream in my vanilla slice (he angled for more) along with the packet of hula hoops and a few stray bits of cucumber from my salad.

Then we looked at the queue for the Tropical House. It was yards and yards, and it meant that going round the Tropical House would be a sort of constricted shuffle. So we just went into Leeds and then home.

He is now sleeping soundly. I actually gave him calpol, because he has been looking very flushed all today and he has an interesting cough. It still doesn't sound like he needs a doctor, and he is hurtling round with plenty of vigour, but I think this is finally breaking and a dose of calpol could be exactly what he needs. I rather envy him sleeping through this storm, I think I may have a bit of trouble.

Easy food day

2012-01-21T09:46:00.002Z

Tonight's meal is a takeaway, so I can sigh, relax and remember to take the meat out of the freezer for Sunday.

All I need to do is work out how to get little bear to a martial arts class to make up for one the class missed - in an unfamiliar part of town and I've never been there before. It isn't even a nice part of town, it's perilously close to the part of town where the muggers have AK47s. Memo to self, do not overshoot on bus.

And little bear, although currently filling up on grapes, is hovering around a box of chocolates given to me, insisting carefully, clearly and repeatedly on the value of sharing. But ask him to share a tube of smarties with you....

(actually, he probably would, bless him)

Safely home

2012-01-20T23:23:00.003Z

We got home safely with all the kit and caboodle to and from the piano lesson. Little bear is having a marvellous time. He also flirted on the way there and the way back, he just love charming the ladies.

We watched the Box Office Film recorded on Sky+, and I enjoyed it. Captain America was enjoyable, and I loved Hugo Weaving's performance. Actually, him and Tommy Lee Jones made the film for me, I don't tend to go for the traditional hero type.

I have thought about it. Darling father, OH and I watched the film. It cost £3.99 on Sky Box Office and we could have watched it more than once in the week it has been on. If we had gone to the pictures it would have been a lot more to go in, plus travel, plus baby sitters, plus fitting in to their times and probably food on top. Even when OH and I used Orange Wednesdays before little bear arrived, it was still £15 for a night out for both of us after we had had a burger on the way from work to the film.

So, three of us, in comfort, with alcohol (for darling father and OH) and no worries about little bear, at a time that we could set, for £3.99. We have Sky+ anyway, as part of a deal to get an upgrade. I could have made home made popcorn. It would be infinitely less expensive to just not watch the film, but sometimes it is nice to see them. I can see this becoming a regular thing. If there is anything worth watching, that is.

Not a good day

2012-01-20T14:31:00.002Z

Still in a crash, but I have tea prepped, and I am more or less human.

I slip so easily - I bought some fish, river cobbler, that were two packs of two fillets for £4 and little bear likes them, so I got two packs of smoked and two of unsmoked. I put the two packs of unsmoked into the freezer and they barely fit. I may be doing good work but there is a way to go yet.

Off now to make little bear's sandwiches. He likes to eat them on the bus on the way to the piano lesson, as we set off straight from school. Today has been a teddy bear's picnic at school, so I will be dragging on the four bus journeys a plush rat, a pe kit in a back pack, a book bag, a rather posh looking sort of letter case with little bear's music in and my bag. I am thinking of taking a large carrier bag to keep them all in instead of panicking in case I drop and lose one - especially the music.

Sigh. Twinkle twinkle here I come.

Evil cat is thief!

2012-01-19T22:41:00.002Z

And thank goodness evil cat is stealing. OH and I watched her sneak up to a piece of sausage left by little bear, slowly slide her paw towards her target, flick it off the plate, knock it on to the floor and kill it. She enjoyed herself, but it was a bit creaky, a bit slow and lacking in her usual malice.

I have noticed for the last day or two she is looking like she is feeling her age, and she is looking very small and slim. She seems to be able to curl into smaller and smaller circles on the sofa. Now she has started to widdle next to the litter tray instead of in it. That isn't a good sign, because evil cat just doesn't do accidents. It is one of her good habits.

I don't think it is a time to call the vet in, and if I have the slightest hint that evil cat is suffering I will call the vet for more pain relief/different ideas/anything. But today I have been really reminded of how frail she is. And last night, as she was sitting on my face, there was no weight at all. Poor old girl. I hope she will feel better soon.

Little bear still grumpy

2012-01-19T19:06:00.003Z

He doesn't mind being weighed and measured apparently.

He is, however, extremely unhappy as he is being asked to guess the name of a teddy (cost £1 per guess) and I think it's because he doesn't know how to get it right. He has been forceful, indignant and very vocal. I am sure his teachers can cope tomorrow.

Little bear is grumpy

2012-01-19T15:56:00.002Z

I was very confused today. I picked little bear up from school and he was very clearly saying that he did NOT like being tested, he did not like it and he did not want to do it tomorrow.

I am still trying to disentangle all the strands but apparently little bear was weighed and measured and his eyes tested. Well, I am not relying on the eye test as my school eye test didn't pick up that I was blind in one eye. The height/weight thing says that he is a healthy weight, right in the middle of the healthy BMI range. This surprises me as I have been watching little bear's weight and today had carrot sticks waiting for him when he got home.

I am now going to try and pursue exactly what he is cross about. I don't expect much sense, however, as he never does say what happens at school. I think the big problem with this test is that it wasn't reading or writing so he couldn't impress and show off. And if he can't show off, what's the point?

More cheerful

2012-01-19T11:55:00.003Z

I remembered to take the sausages out of the freezer! Yay!!!! All I need to do now is remember to peel the potatoes before little bear comes home from school. Then it is sausage and mash for tea.

And I reviewed the next delivery, took off the joint of meat that was earmarked for Sunday, as we have stuff in the freezer, reviewed how much we needed of various bits and took off the booze that was mainly for me. Before darling father moved in I had the equivalent of two small sherries a year. Now I often have a drink when OH and darling father do, but it won't hurt for me to not always have a drink.

I have done a little ironing (I have about ten hours' ironing to do) and the next thing is to make a list for tomorrow.

I am still really, really exhausted. It won't be an early night either. We saved Captain America from Sky Box Office, as I knew that unless I really fought and made it difficult to ignore I would never see this film and I really wanted to. The time to watch it expires tomorrow, so we have to watch it tonight or lose £3.99. I wanted to see it at the pictures, but this is less expensive, and tbh, I may do it again. It is just impossible for me to get to the pictures. There are a lot of films I have really, really, really wanted to see, and never managed it. We don't have Sky movies and even if it is on the other channels it is usually Disney or football here.

I am going to try and cut out caffeine after lunch time. I am sleeping badly (especially when evil cat tries to sit on my face), so that has to help. And little bear helped with a healthy breakfast. Instead of nice easy cereal he wanted porridge, so while I made his ready brek, I made some for me as well. I am looking at a microwave omlette with perhaps some cheese for lunch, then sausage and mash for tea.

It is all looking so positive. I am now worrying where it could go wrong.

This is a good idea

2012-01-19T09:24:00.002Z

Witch Hazel - Hi Syb, well done on the pasta sauce. On the meal planning front, reading your posts suggests that its forgetting to get things out of the freezer that is the most common cause of derailment. You need to get into the habit/routine of getting stuff out of the freezer, so pick a time when it will be on your mind. It could be, "before you wash up today's dinner things, you get the food out of the freezer for tomorrow", or "before you turn the kitchen light off at night"... or whatever. Or stick a note on the fridge so that you see it in the morning. It doesn't matter when/what routine you pick, just pick something. If you defrost overnight in the fridge, and f you've defrosted something and plans change, all you have to do is have the defrosted thing on the next day instead. Good luck.

This is a good idea! What I need is the toothbrush principle. That is a book about organisation, which says that you never lose your toothbrush. You have a place for it, it is in a logical place and you put it back there after every use. I use the same principle with keys. I have a limited number of places I put keys. With the odd 'normal for Sybil' exception, we don't lose keys, they are always in the right place. I am currently on a campaign for little bear to apply the same principle to shoes. Playing 'Hunt The Other Shoe' five minutes after we should have left for school is not fun.

I am going to have a big think, or even a Big Think about this. Hazel, you may have started me on the path to cracking this.

Meal Planning Plan C

2012-01-18T18:54:00.002Z

... or possibly plan D, I lose count.

We didn't have casserole because I forgot to get the meat out of the freezer, and we didn't go to football as little bear looked as exhausted as I feel, so I suppose that we will have to abandon that. Three things after school is a bit much, as many tried to tell me.

But I did make a home made pasta sauce, well, relatively home made. I softened some onions, some frozen mushrooms I had got inexpensive, peeled and frozen, with some frozen sliced peppers which I have too much of in my freezer and some sliced tinned hotdogs (sliced with scissors). Then I added a tin of undiluted condensed tomato soup with herbs and worcestershire sauce and heated through. The only thing bought in was the onions as even the hotdogs had been lingering in the cupboard since the summer as little bear decided he really liked eating them. Both the hotdogs and the tomato soup were less than 5% fat (not sure I believe the writing on the tin of hotdogs) though I am not sure about the salt.

So, that was my triumph for the day - I cooked! And I do feel good about it as it would have been easy to get fish and chips yet again. Tomorrow is looking like sausages or similar - I shall see what is in the freezer or do something with the tinned meat still in the cupboard although that is going down. Friday is home cooked fish and Saturday is a takeaway! Just two evening meals to go to the weekend.

Grumpy again

2012-01-18T09:42:00.002Z

I am having a crash. I feel absolutely exhausted, I am so tired I could cry, and I barely have the energy to get little bear up and dressed and to school. This morning I surfaced when I heard little bear start stirring at around 8am. This is reassuring, as I had slept through the alarm on the mobile and I have never done that before!

Last night we had fish n chips, although on Monday we did have the turkey curry (and it was very nice, I shall get that jar again - cupboard space permitting). I forgot to get the meat out for a casserole last night, so I will have to make something when I get in with little bear after football.

I will think about it later. I am so tired that thinking hurts.

Coated

2012-01-17T12:14:00.003Z

The bon marche order came - yay!!! And one of the things that was included in the order was coat. I got so cold and wet last week with only a short fleece jacket, that I decided that I needed something else. And the coat was in the bag and I fell in love with the colour and I tried it on.

Oops.

It wasn't just that it was a bit snug. Part of the problem was, as little bear put it, I'm too fat and part was I was wearing a very chunky sweater. The big problem was that the zip got stuck. I struggled and wriggled and jiggled and wished darling father hadn't gone out. Little bear was not supportive. He watched dispassionately as I was as contortionist as my shoulders would allow and commented that I needed to do more exercise.

I kept my temper.

So I am sitting here, in the coat (which is lovely and snug) waiting for darling father to come home so that I can be cut out of the dratted garment, which I hope I will then be able to send back. The lady I rang seemed lovely, and is actually local. I have no problems with Bon Marche. But if I am not cut out of the dratted thing I think I will have to be buried in it.

Ooops

2012-01-17T10:00:00.001Z

Little bear is looking for a particular toy. He has not looked for this toy for a considerable length of time. In fact, it must be months since he thought about it.

Which is why it ended up at a charity shop...

Actually, he is being very quiet up there - I wish I had the nerve to go and look and see what he is up to.

Darn it to heck

2012-01-16T22:38:00.002Z

My previous post mentions me buying nighties. The ones I like that I like little bear to see me in (bearing in mind he wakes me up and sees me get out of 'bed') are hard to find, oddly. Just boring long t-shirt type ones, in my size, that aren't pink, at a reasonable price. I also drew the line at brushed nylon or wincyette, I wanted the cotton or polycotton t-shirt fabric and I also wanted them a decent length so that when I got up all was decently covered. For a while, as my current ones slowly disintegrated, I either couldn't find what I wanted or put off paying the price as I was trying to watch the pennies.

So I found this site for the first time, drooled over some of the stuff, giggled over some of the other stuff, and there were two long t-shirt type nighties for £16, and while I dithered over three days, I did get them, as I wasn't sure that the offer wouldn't end. I bought them yesterday. From Bon Marche, which today was in the headlines that it may be going into administration.

Darn.

That parcel had better arrive is all I can say!

Blown Budget

2012-01-16T16:57:00.002Z

We are nowhere near the breadline, however we could really, really, really do with watching the pennies as little bear will need a proper keyboard as ours is just that bit short and so I could do with scraping that money together as well as the holiday money.

But when OH said that he was popping into Matalan to buy a pair of jeans, I said, 'Buy two pairs! And have a look at work trousers! And look at the shirts! And don't forget to look at the underwear!' Before OH went he had one pair of jeans and one pair of work trousers. Just getting him to consider the possibility of thinking about perhaps buying some clothes is a miracle. Stuff the budget, get some necessities!

And yes, I would buy them for him but I do feel that he is an adult, I am not his mother, so really it is up to him to buy clothes. Also, he hides his size from me, so he has to try things on.

I have also spent on clothes. This I regret. However having only two nighties that I want little bear to wake me up in (as he does most mornings) and one of them is torn and the other is splashed with paint (long story), when I found a site with a special offer, I clicked 'Buy'. The gloves I am less guilty about.

Boasting about little bear

2012-01-16T15:29:00.002Z

Shameless boasting about little bear. It is a small thing really, but little bear is one of two narrators in the school assembly, 'because he is good at reading'.

It is not something that mums and dads get to see, it is not a huge deal, but I am so proud of him. I have had a quick scan over his 'lines' and there is a bit, with some longer words, but I know he will be fine.

So, my son the narrator.

And we had tears today, because he won't be in school tomorrow. It's a training day. To be honest, the bits I have seen about how much preparation and marking children have mean that I can't be too grumpy about training days. I do really feel for the havoc that it causes for parents who need childcare, however.

I am going to be on intensive cuddle duty tomorrow. I think he will be wanting to do school like stuff. I will just do my best, as ever.

Menu planning

2012-01-16T13:00:00.003Z

Last week I hit a wall and I am not sure what to do tonight. It is looking remarkably like the turkey curry will finally happen. And the frozen piece of beef in the freezer is very likely to be grated while still frozen and turn into shepherd's pie tomorrow, to have with the remnant of the sprouts and some peas. That is two warming meals for two chilly evenings.

Wednesday needs to be a casserole, as it is football. I have meat in the freezer and I also have some dried veg to use. Thursday is likely to be scampi and chips as I found half a bag of scampi (a donation from darling father with the last trip to Makro) when I reorganised the freezer. There are also more oven chips than I like to keep in reserve, so I want to use some of those up. I want to get rid of some of the half used bags in the freezer to make more space and so that I know where I am. There is nothing more depressing than the quarter bags huddling at the back and looking wilted.

Friday is likely to be mince of some sort, as it is piano, and a chilli con charlie or a beeferoni is good. Then we hit the weekend.

That's the plan, let's see how it turns out.

Considering the budget

2012-01-16T09:22:00.003Z

Yesterday I was making lunch, and I was shocked as I tallied up the electricity. As it is a basement kitchen I needed the light on. Then the washing machine and tumble drier were both on - if I am going to tumble dry then the warm air coming out of the separate drier is very welcome. The toaster and the microwave were both on as I was making 'poached' eggs on toast for the lunch. Then I thought about the dehumidifiers (very inexpensive to run, but not free), computers, televisions, radio alarms, etc and shivered. I could almost hear my purse emptying.

Clothes have to be clean, so I will do a regular trick and wash dirtier clothes for longer, rather than at higher temperature. I believe that a lot of the energy in a washing machine goes to heating the water. And sometimes I will need to use a drier, especially at this time of year, but if I were more organised I could dry more on airers. I will get in the habit of feeding the washing machine often. The exercise of hunting all over the house for OH and little bear's clothes will be good for me.

Then the matter of taking nibbles to the concert. It cost me £5.50. If I was a little more organised I could have either bought better/less expensive or made them. In fact, it will be better all round if I baked more and bought less. I think in some circumstances, home made is definitely socially better. It is usually less expensive even with the fuel costs added on, often healthier and I have a load of recipes.

The freezer is looking a little lighter, as I finally cooked the pork joint that has been sitting there, looking at me since New Year's Eve. I had bought it as a 'special treat' for then, so it was a huge tin tray with a rather small piece of pork in which had been all trussed and stuffed for the alleged 'added value' and for £5 fed us only once. Though it was really, really nice, it is still only a 'special'. There is still a long way to go, however, as I would still think twice before putting anything more in it just now, and I do want things to be finished up. The cupboard, thank goodness, is merely jammed full and not currently overflowing. I need to keep going.

Chardonnay wine vinegar

2012-01-14T22:14:00.003Z

Little bear had his 'concert' last night, charmed all present, according to OH, and was cosying up to the little girl not much older than him. Not all the children had parents present, which seemed a bit sad to me, but it is hard sometimes when you are working as and when you can. Little bear started them all off in an action song and broke the ice. He also schmoozed up to mums, chatted happily about Dr Who to an older girl and took a keen interest in all the proceedings.

I had promised to send some 'nibbles' to the do, so I nipped quickly to a small co-op local to where the party little bear went to while OH was watching him. I'm not very familiar with the co-op and I blinked at their own brand special crisps with sea salt and chardonnay wine vinegar. They were huge 'sharing' bags and £1.59 each. I toyed with the idea of getting them, there weren't that many choices. However I thought - pretentious crisps or down to earth Pringles? I got two tubes of Pringles. After I had paid I realised that the crisps, pretentious or not, were a lot cheaper than the Pringles. It will teach me to do the sums!

And to cap it all, one of the other performers helped themselves to a very large handful and little bear announced in ringing tones, 'My mum bought those for us to share!'

Super time

2012-01-14T16:51:00.002Z

Lesley - OH is taking little bear to the concert, as it is really the only chance for him to meet the piano teacher and it is one 'other' per person. He has gone stocked up with Kleenex and camera phone - of course he is just as besotted. Little bear has had a superman logo painted on his face, from the party earlier, but I did part him from his costume. He is growing up soooo quickly!

The party today was a wonderful time. The mum had gone to all sorts of trouble to make it special for her son, and as I will be using the same venue I was shamelessly asking her about it.

It was so lovely seeing lots of great kids hurtling around and having a marvellous time in a safe place with their friends, and I had a lovely gossip with the mums. One of them suggested getting care allowance for darling father - as he painted the bannister while we were out, I don't think that I have the brass neck to claim it. I think, actually, that darling father could claim carer's allowance for me with a lot more justification.

Little bear is very tired

2012-01-13T22:12:00.002Z

Last night I couldn't sleep, and randomly went upstairs to see little bear around midnight.

It must have been the mother's instinct calling. He was on top of the bedclothes, though it was freezing, with his feet at the pillow end and his head at the foot of the bed. So I sort of picked him up - just about, I won't be able to do that for much longer. Then I turned him round and tucked him under the covers. I wasn't particularly feather light with it, he is a fair size to turn 180 degrees and snuggle down, but he didn't stir, didn't flicker an eye. He just cuddled down under the duvet and slept even heavier.

This week he hasn't been to martial arts, he hasn't been to football, and while I did take him to piano tonight, he nearly fell asleep on the bus to there. I suspect that he is finally getting the sleep he needs, and the cold that is just below the surface may break tomorrow.

I think the odds of the cold breaking tomorrow are pretty high as he has a birthday party to go to and then the concert with the piano teacher. The 'concert' is not very intense. It is the pupils of the teacher meeting at the teacher's house, playing a piece and then having nibbles. Obviously little bear isn't going to play a piece, he has only had a few lessons and tonight started to learn to play a tune. I didn't know Twinkle Twinkle Little Star could be slaughtered. However five minutes a day practice and it will be sorted out. Tomorrow little bear will start the proceedings with performing an action song. As little bear hasn't worked out what it is to be nervous, nor has he grasped the concept of stage fright, he is a good choice to start.

Dratted random post

2012-01-12T22:57:00.004Z

Someone was posting about choirs on a forum, and for the heck of it, and remembering my past, I looked up Vaughan Williams Donna Nobis Pacem. Yes it is on You Tube and once again my will power is not enough to tear me away for an early night.

It's worth it.

Donna Nobis Pacem by Vaughan Williams

(Thank you Morgan, for teaching me the linkys)

Evil cat has a narrow escape

2012-01-12T22:22:00.002Z

Evil cat has always done this, and it always terrifies me when I get tripped up by it - she hides under things. She crawls under throws, duvets, sheets and blankets. She finds fabric and she tunnels under it.

And then you sit down on the edge of a bed and a baffled and irritated tabby head comes out from under the duvet, or the sheet, or the bedspread, blinking and swearing in 'cat'. She is such a tiny thing, she barely makes a bump.

Today there was a rumpled duvet on the sofa. I sat on the sofa, it isn't an unusual thing to do - unless you have a rumpled duvet on that sofa and a tabby with a death wish. Fortunately I sat down on one side and the cat was underneath the other side. Darling father pointed out that the cat was under there. My heart sank and I started lifting throws and duvet and slankets, and out crawls a very grumpy evil cat.

Still, she stole, chased and killed the left over fish from darling father's fish n chips so she can't have been feeling that bad.

What budget

2012-01-12T14:40:00.003Z

I feel like the diary should be headed up, 'January - fail'. Sigh. I knew this expense was coming, so never mind.

I have finally booked little bear's belated birthday party. It is a party at soft play, and as I went for the expensive option it will be around £160 for twenty kids. This is infinitely better than trying to do it at home.

For this we get an exclusive use of the facility for one hour and thirty minutes, a birthday buffet, jelly and ice cream (which makes it the expensive option as it is 50p per child extra!) and party bags are provided. It would be much less expensive if we had a party at home, but none of little bear's friends have done that, so we will go with the soft play, and it could be a lot worse. It also includes a year's pass for reduced admission for little bear, which will be very useful in the summer. I notice that the discount for next year's party has been carefully crossed out in dark marker. Times must be tough in the soft play business. Now all I need to do is source a cake.

I will not be sending out the invitations for a while, however. If I send them out now then I have to invite the two young lads further down the street. However they are not really nice to little bear, and they may be being evicted. On the other hand, if they are stressed from the eviction/pending eviction then it might be cruel to deprive them of a chance to go to party, but they are still not very nice to little bear. I am waiting and seeing. And while I will be inviting little bear's girlfriend, the guest list is mainly boys as little bear plays with mainly boys, but I will be inviting one or two girls because either I natter to their mums or I really think that little bear's girlfriend should have some company - not that it really matters at age five. Anyway, everything may change by the time the date of the party in March comes round, so there is not much point in sending them now.

However, on the budget front, my last delivery was just around £30, and while I am mentally composing my next one, I am not planning on spending a lot. I have also felt absolutely no desire to browse on ebay etc. However, I am almost tempted to buy little bear some braces. He wants them so he can dress up like Dr Who. I am currently resisting. So it could be worse.

Super dreams

2012-01-12T11:30:00.001Z

Little bear went to sleep in his superman outfit last night.

I don't mind this so much. It is an extra layer for when he kicks all his bedclothes off. He does like his dressing up clothes, however, so I shall have to see what else I can find for him that is inexpensive. Though not this month!

Start again tomorrow

2012-01-11T22:46:00.002Z

For those who read this and are not from the UK, I promise that not all British housewives are like me. They run homes well, they cook good food, their families are always confident that there is a clean shirt. I think I am in the bottom 2%

And also welcome. I am incredibly flattered that people read this.

So, takeaway for all except me, as I had hoped to have a lower calorie meal but ended up finishing off little bear's portion. At least there was not a lot.

Mince tomorrow, probably in a shepherd's pie. As for what we will have Friday, probably frozen fish and chips. Darling father really wanted a takeaway, I think, so he could sneak off to his room and watch Liverpool play. At least they won, so he may possibly be hung over tomorrow, but he will be happy.

Now I need to try and get some sleep, despite the wind howling outside, to have at least some energy to do all I could do with doing tomorrow.

Meal plans - ha!

2012-01-11T15:30:00.003Z

I forgot to take the meat out of the freezer to do a casserole for today in the slow cooker. But that's okay - little bear is just too tired to do almost anything (except eat sweets and even that is a bit hit and miss) so we are missing football and I have taken mince out early enough to do something like beeferoni or chilli con charlie.

I am keeping going at the freezer. I really want to make some space. You see, I like using the country soup mix with pasta in casseroles and soups. It is a mixture of a variety of dried peas, barley and pasta and is edible after an hour's cooking. I bought some of the soup mix that doesn't have pasta and needs soaking overnight from Approved Food in error. I never remember to soak it. So I thought I would soak a very large quantity overnight, give it a good simmer the next day and then freeze in usable amounts. To do that, however, requires space in the freezer. I think it will be worth it, however, as some of that mixture simmered up with some onion and finely chopped bacon would be extremely tasty, warm, satisfying and appeal a lot to darling father and OH. Little bear would have his customary cold tinned tomato soup.

Today has not been a good day, start again tomorrow. Tomorrow is Thursday and nothing is planned. I think tomorrow is going to be frozen, breaded haddock and remoska potatoes, with the last of the microwave veggies in bags (bought for Christmas and taking up far too much room in the freezer) and Friday can be curry made with the turkey still lurking in the freezer as we will be out until latish. Saturday is looking like sausage...

darling father has just popped in and would like a takeaway, no worries, he's paying. Will rethink again

I enjoy the adverts

2012-01-10T13:31:00.003Z

I have just spotted an advert on my blog that was for Fish and Chip Shop insurance. I am a bit baffled by that - surely it is a bit specialist to put on a waffling blog? Or perhaps it is to insure you against the Fish and Chip Shop should you find that instead of a pleasant bit of haddock you have a substandard piece of river cobbler.

I didn't approve of the site advertising that Married Women were available for no stings attached hanky panky. Apart from anything else, I would probably question exactly how married and to whom.

Upward and onward. I need to sort out the delivery

Delvery looming

2012-01-10T12:23:00.003Z

I could do with getting a quick delivery from Asda. I could do with sorting it out today. I am likely to fall asleep half way through checking it out.

Any bets on what sort of things will fall into my basket while I sleep shop?

Sleeeeeeep!

2012-01-10T10:15:00.002Z

Little bear went to sleep very quickly last night and was tired this morning. He only woke up when OH got up and after his cereal he was lying on the sofa looking ready to sleep. He was too tired to eat a chocolate biscuit. I suspect a cold. I am keeping him back from martial arts tonight and we can have a good cuddle.

For me, I was doing really well until evil cat decided that I was the cushion of choice, but I couldn't lie this way, I had to lie that way, nudge, lick, spike. At least I got to get up and get the blankets back on little bear twice last night.