Sad Dream

Last night I dreamt we were looking for houses and while we were being shown one that was a bit fancy we noticed that another one was for sale. It was £70k, and in an ideal location. Now, I am pretty sure it needed rewiring and central heating. I am confident it needed new windows. It definitely needed new carpets to replace the elderly dark mustard and new wallpaper to replace the flower sprigs on the walls. It was an odd shape, with a down stairs bathroom, ideal for darling father, on its own in a garden with a mowed lawn and a jungle like shrubbery. None of the floors were on any level, they were stepping up or down. All the rooms were odd shapes and there were corridors zig zagging through the house to all the funny nooks and corners. Stairs were steep and turned corners. It was stone built and had open fires. The kitchen had a brown 70s feel that really needed to be replaced.

I wanted it so much, I could have cried when I woke up. It was exactly the sort of place I could love, make snug, make calm. It even had a balcony, but without a guard rail and in my dream me and dear heart just looked at each other and agreed that on no account must little bear be allowed near it. I even remember the name of the house.

I feel so low. I loathe the place I am in, and I am likely to die here. I cannot see any way to get free. I felt almost as if I had a sight of paradise. It has haunted me all day.