Marybelle - thank you for a huge hug, it really has helped.

Darling father is many things, but not reliable. He disappeared for a few years after my parents divorced in 1978. It is always a huge shock if he calls me. I have always been the one to make any effort. Before little bear appeared he rarely visited.

I didn't have a hero worship of my Daddy - I knew what was what from an early age. He is a lovely man to be with, but it really is out of sight out of mind and he blows with the wind.

So I may never find out about this latest episode. I am worried sick that he will not open up to his little girl in case I think less of him when actually I have quite a few bits of information from MSE and my work at the Court Service and as a Legal Secretary that may be useful, and I am also quite hard to surprise.

Before Christmas he came up, he was incredibly tense when I met him, but relaxed really quickly and had a good time here. I just wish he would come up again soon.

When I write stories I work hard to write characters with depth, but nothing is as layered as real life. Darling father has a certificate from the Fire Service from when he rescued a man from a burning building - I remember it happening as I spotted the smoke (I was about six!). But he cannot be relied on to be in the place he said he would next week.