Scratched to pieces

Evil cat has been trying to take up her favourite seat - across my throat.  However I am trying to sort out some stuff for little bear for Christmas, and I need to be able to see the computer.  I also want to finish off some knitting. 

Obviously this is completely unacceptable to evil cat.  She has climbed up my leg with the full grappling hooks out.  She has climbed over my shoulder.  She has clung on to my chest.  She has clung on to my arms.  She has sat across my back and the nape of my neck and refused to move, digging in her claws to prove a point.  I am now sore all over from her! 

Part of the problem is that evil cat is evil.  However another part is that evil cat's claws are too long.  She does her best with her front claws and is meticulously keeping them in trim by sharpening them on furniture, but cats normally keep their back claws trimmed by biting them.  Poor old evil cat, I don't think her teeth are up to it and her back claws are now extremely long.

I want to make it extremely clear.  There is no way on this planet that I am going to try and trim her claws.  If she always draws blood from vets who are used to keeping themselves safe from vicious animals then I will be shredded.  And I am not sure about asking a vet to trim her claws, it does seem a bit cruel to ask them to try.  I think they would usually try and do that under sedation, but evil cat is just too frail (hah!) to try that. 

And as I type she is lining up for another attempt on my north face.  I look like I fell into a bramble patch!  I am considering my options.