Showing posts with label Housewifery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Housewifery. Show all posts

Tuesday, 11 September 2012

Autumn Cleaning

I don't know why, but I always feel sluggish in Spring and energised in Autumn, and it is now Autumn weather.  So I have started to get a bit keener to clean.  It has taken me a little by surprise, but it is a pleasant surprise.  I have just brushed down my kitchen stairs for the first time since I can remember, as it is a job I hate because of the plaster falling off the walls (yes, honestly, it's a long story).

It may be that I can imagine actually decorating with actual paint and paper.  This has made me feel giddy all over.  However I have a long way to go before I do that. 

I have neglected so many corners (and main bits!) of the house, it needs such a catch up.  And I am bitterly aware that every time I start a new phase of cleaning something dreadful happens.  But I actually feel optimistic! 

I have decided to write up the housework as a job description, just like the ones I used to have back in long ago days, and put in a timetable to try and always remember to keep cleaning.  Stairs are Tuesdays and Fridays.  It's a start, anyway. 

This weekend is a huge clear out of little bear's room.  With that and the huge clear out we did behind the television, I think it may have kick started something.  I shall see how this goes.

Monday, 23 April 2012

I have been busy

Yesterday I did washing - shame on me! Washing on a Sunday! But I had a really good rummage and yesterday washed everything that could be dried in the tumble drier, as it looks like there will be no good drying days for some time.

While I have washed absolutely everything I could find at around 8am yesterday, I have since found a few bits, of course. People have got undressed. The beds could do with changing. OH moved some stuff and found a cache of dirty socks. The normal bits and pieces. The washing basket is still full, however, with things that cannot be tumble dried. There is also a large drift of sort of flimsy, lacy black underwear that there is no way I am letting the neighbours see but probably wouldn't survive the tumble drier.

So I am going to reluctantly rig up my airer which until I reorganise my dining room blocks access into my big cupboard and makes things awkward - although it is next to the dehumidifier so that things dry lovely and quickly.

Glass half empty - My pile of ironing is nearly as tall as me. I do enjoy writing, but I rarely exaggerate on this blog and I am not exaggerating with the amount of ironing I have to do. I had some left after the last marathon. I have been washing and 'de-dusting' little bear's old clothes. And yesterday I ironed everything I could lay my hands on. The disorganised pile is easily up to my chest, and then there is another stack on top of the dryer.

Glass half full - it was quite cold and very damp yesterday. However the tumble dryer is vented. The vent comes out next to the dehumidifier, so there is less risk of damp and condensation and the warm air rose and kept the living room and study lovely and warm, we didn't need to have the fire on all day! (grumble - still would rather line dry!)

Thursday, 19 April 2012

washing worry

The washing machine has had some good run throughs with washing soda. I can still rub red off the seal with a paper towel, but I washed an old towel destined for Nice Mr Next Door and rags and it didn't turn pink. So I have put a socks and undies wash on.

Fingers crossed that should be fine. I shall work up from there, lol.

Mermaid - it is tempting to think about the washing up liquid, as it shouldn't perish the seal, and I think a lot of the sprays etc would - I've just thought about laundry soap, that should be safe! Knowing how I attract comedy moments, perhaps I had best forget all about the washing up liquid, lol!

Washing machine seeing red

I followed all the instructions on the packet and put two of little bear's shirts into dye in the washing machine. They were white school shirts with pen on, I couldn't get the pen off, so I thought I would dye them red, which is little bear's favourite colour. They then could be used as play shirts and he would still get some use out of them - one was a M&S shirt that may have only cost £2.50, but it was M&S!

Actually dyeing the shirts was straight forward enough, you put the powder in the drum, covered it with the salt and put in the wet clothes. You ran the washing machine at cottons, 40 degrees. Then you ran the wash again as a wash with soap etc. Hey presto - you should have two red shirts.

I put in two shirts, both white, both washed and clean. One came out a satisfying tomato red. The other came out fuschia. I am not sure about little bear in a pink shirt. It is a loud, eye watering, in your face pink - it is intense, it is carnival pink. I will see what little bear says. I am sure he will look good in it, but I am just not used to little bear in pink. The other one looks great, just what I wanted. A nice scarlet, vivid and cheerful.

The washing machine drum still has red all over it. I have put the washing machine on the longest cycle with plenty of washing soda in, and I am keeping my fingers crossed for that. OH would definitely draw the line at a pink shirt. Otherwise I am going to have to go in and give it a rub with something. I gave it a quick rub over earlier with some paper towels. I am just wondering how safe washing up liquid is in a washing machine.

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Afternoon less successful

Couldn't hustle little bear to piano and burned the potatoes. However the shirts are dyeing in the washing machine.

I am looking at all the red colour going round and round and getting very, very nervous.

I think I will put in some blacks for the first wash after dyeing. I don't know why I am so nervous, I have used the same dyes before without any problem. And at least I have about twenty of OH's shirts in hand if it does all go wrong.

Laundry list

My current focus and obsession at the moment is laundry. I am in awe how most people just manage it. I have had a complete fail with this, and I am determined to get it on track.

I haven't seen the bottom of the washing basket for a very long time, and I haven't seen the bottom of the ironing basket for even longer. Every time I push, I seem to get pushed back again, but I am keeping this moving.

The big, big problem was being daunted going into a room piled high with textiles of every type. So I got rid of huge quantities last week of out dated and outworn towels, sheets, table clothes, old socks, etc. Nice Mr Next Door was very happy to use the rags. The two lads from next door about to set up their own home were also happy to have the towels that were okay, the sheets, the duvet sets etc - it will do them until they get their own stuff. And the daughter of Nice Mr and Mrs Next Door was glad of a bundle of cot sheets. That must have emptied the room of almost a third of its contents.

The next thing I am tackling is little bear's outgrown clothes. I was going to go today to the Recycle shop that buys old clothes. I am glad with the weather I didn't, but I have started the process of washing the dust off his old clothes, re-ironing and sorting them for the trip. Also sorting what can be donated, what the little boys related to Nice Next Door can use, etc etc. There are bags and bags of the stuff. This morning I emptied one bag to bung in the washer - and found four of OH's shirts.

My heart actually felt like it sank - not more shirts! OH must now have about thirty of the things - ordinary, boring, nothing special, white-or-pale-blue sort of things for work. I insist he has a few, as I also insist that he wears a clean shirt every day as I think that is the way to look nice and keep them looking good for longer. So that is five shirts every week from OH, five from little bear, five from darling father. Plus polo shirts from darling father, t-shirts and casual shirts for little bear and casual shirts for OH. Most of my stuff is non iron! I am drowning in shirts.

I am also constantly surprised at where little bear leaves his socks. I have found them in every room in the house, plus on the stairs. He wanders around happily and footwear is shed at random intervals. I have screamed, shouted and yelled and so now his shoes are usually more or less together wherever he leaves them. I have not managed to convince him to put them in the same place every time, but I am working on it. Changing into slippers isn't working, he treats slippers with contempt. Once I have that mastered then I will move on to the socks and will hopefully no longer find them under cushions, over the backs of chairs, tucked beside the tv, draped on bannisters or nestled in corners.

I will get there, I will!

What I have done today

So far today I have failed to go to the Nisa to get ham - it was raining. Little bear can make do with the ham from yesterday, which he said didn't taste very nice, but that could merely mean that he didn't fancy it. I haven't done any ironing either.

But I did pick up darling father's papers and milk - it's only five minutes out of my way. And I have been stuffing washing in the machine and the tumble drier (grr). I have got the last of the grease off the roasting tin, washed up breakfast things, peeled the potatoes, rung darling uncle for a nice chat, just moved two or three things in the living room into the right place and sorted the socks out that have come out of the drier. I also got the towels away in their place (which I can now reach!) straight away.

Looking at the list - I may or may not do some ironing - I may do some for fifteen minutes at a time to warm me up rather than put the fire on. Or I may suddenly be struck with energy. I am also flagging quite a bit, but I refuse to believe that entirely.

So, after posting on here I am going to try and sort out the start of the story for OH. It is likely to take me a few days. I am going to keep the washing going. I am going to have a proper lunch and do my best to ensure darling father does too. I am going to make sure I have the taxi number in my phone. I shall get sandwiches and a drink ready for little bear and his music case by the door. Then I will pick up little bear and go to piano at 3.15. We will pick up some nice fish (I hope) on the way home. Then I shall nervously help little bear dye some shirts - he has got felt tip pen on them, fortunately in his favourite colour. I can't send him to school in shirts with pen on, but I can dye the shirts red so he can play in them. I shall do an empty wash straight after. I am definitely dying the shirts in a machine wash - there is no way I would trust my track record with accidents or the best intentioned five year old with permanent dye with a hand wash.

Then after tea (which is frozen veg, mash with potatoes already peeled and hopefully breadcrumbed fish) and little bear's bed time I hope to perhaps do some ironing and some bootees. Or just doze.

So far I am okay with what I have done/not done. I hope I can keep it up.

Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Mortified

There was a knock on the door and an older gentleman was standing there, flinching a little at my, 'who the heck are you?' expression. I had finally got little bear sitting quietly watching Ben 10 dvd (which I really regret buying, but he needed to be slowed down) and I was hoping to actually do some washing up.

He is a friend of darling father, who hadn't seen him for a few weeks, so he was calling to ask after darling father's health.

I invited him in. The living room looked like nothing on earth - crumbs all over the floor, toys scattered, Dr Who cards surrounding a ground zero of an empty box, things piled up, stacked, dropped, shoved to one side, and dear heaven the place needed dusting. Actually it needs stripping back to the plaster and starting again. I couldn't even ask him to sit in darling father's chair. Another spring went last night and it is not safe for the unwary to sit in.

Added to that, darling father was still in bed, still tired and not really up to visitors. For one brief moment he looked as appalled as I felt, he was in no fit state. But this poor man had braved me, a long walk and an unknown destination to ask after darling father, so darling father dragged himself into some clothes, and I made him a cup of tea and then dragged little bear to play on the computer quietly - or else!

Little bear should be back at school next week. I MUST do something then! Also, Ben 10 is truly awful.

Friday, 2 March 2012

Almost spring cleaning mood

Yesterday I didn't manage the cooker - I was having problems breathing walking downhill, so I put it down to a panic attack - due to evil cat trying to suffocate me in my sleep. That's enough to panic anyone!

So I ironed and ironed and ironed and ironed. I haven't finished anywhere near the amount I need to do, and there is a huge heap of clothes little bear has grown out of to sort, plus underneath the misplaced bedding (still no idea where to put it now we don't have an airing cupboard in darling father's room) we have a heap of paper work displaced when I lost my two, four drawer filing cabinets. I shall probably still be moaning about them when I'm seventy!

But - glass half full - I did loads! And I have put away a lot of it as well, the bits I have places for. And I have wiped my line and put a load of washing out to dry, plus I have sorted, and put washing on, and had a proper breakfast, and generally been proactive.

I have also spent an absolute fortune on Prices Candles, mainly for darling father, as Prices Candles are a lot nicer than Yankee Candles for me, and there were some interesting bargains at reduced prices. The reduced prices were actually v inexpensive as well, so good value for money. If you like scented candles I do recommend them! Prices Patent Candles

Of course, now my lady like parts are not co-operating, so glass half full I am going to get on with some knitting to try and clear some of back log of half finished items. And I can watch tv while I do it!

Monday, 20 February 2012

Housewifery, and lack thereof

I watched Superscrimpers tonight. Partly I envied their lovely clean homes - mine would be condemned! And I made some mental notes. However tonight was one where I probably wouldn't use that much.

One of the main headlines was the £50 for romantic break. A couple who had spent over £7000 on romantic breaks and romantic presents in one year were challenged to go away for £50. We don't do romantic breaks, and after last weekend it is a push to be romantic as long as a commercial break. I made a few mental notes, but was interested that they didn't mention vouchers etc. I shall be giving it a lot of thought. One thought I had was that you could buy a new car for £7k.

They also had a masterclass in furniture renovation. We don't fiddle with the furniture, we buy it, or acquire it from friends and relatives, and then just keep it. We wouldn't get rid of something because it was boring and replace with a more fashionable thingy of the same type. I think we put fablon on something once. It was one of those inexpensive bench type units with holes for storage boxes from Argos. We used it in little bear's bedroom and we put the bottle warmer for nights on it and put fablon on to protect the 'wood'. It is now under the window in the living room as storage for little bear's toys. We are probably a bit boring. Darling father is amazing at what he can do, but reupholstering a recliner that has spronged a spring is asking a lot. Especially as I was already considering that he could do with a different chair that was easier for him to get out of. So I look at the sunk seated, stained and worn chair and think that we are just going to replace.

I should add that I am sitting at a desk that we acquired from the office where I used to work. They were completely refitting, and this lovely, sturdy desk that has stood the test of time in this study for fifteen years cost me £2.50 plus inexpensive man with van. At the same time I acquired a pair of four drawer filing cabinets, whose passing I still mourn, at £2.50 each, and a huge metal shelving unit (£2.50) that also went to the Salvation Army.

I think my main concerns are not buying anything unless necessary (with a realistic view of necessary), and being a bit more aware of the costs of home economics - meals, takeaways, unplugging things etc. Tonight's challenge is little bear's shirt - stained with someone else's nosebleed. I am not going to be all old fashioned and Mrs Beeton. I am going to soak it over night in Ariel stain remover and cold water. It's a start.

Wednesday, 11 January 2012

Meal plans - ha!

I forgot to take the meat out of the freezer to do a casserole for today in the slow cooker. But that's okay - little bear is just too tired to do almost anything (except eat sweets and even that is a bit hit and miss) so we are missing football and I have taken mince out early enough to do something like beeferoni or chilli con charlie.

I am keeping going at the freezer. I really want to make some space. You see, I like using the country soup mix with pasta in casseroles and soups. It is a mixture of a variety of dried peas, barley and pasta and is edible after an hour's cooking. I bought some of the soup mix that doesn't have pasta and needs soaking overnight from Approved Food in error. I never remember to soak it. So I thought I would soak a very large quantity overnight, give it a good simmer the next day and then freeze in usable amounts. To do that, however, requires space in the freezer. I think it will be worth it, however, as some of that mixture simmered up with some onion and finely chopped bacon would be extremely tasty, warm, satisfying and appeal a lot to darling father and OH. Little bear would have his customary cold tinned tomato soup.

Today has not been a good day, start again tomorrow. Tomorrow is Thursday and nothing is planned. I think tomorrow is going to be frozen, breaded haddock and remoska potatoes, with the last of the microwave veggies in bags (bought for Christmas and taking up far too much room in the freezer) and Friday can be curry made with the turkey still lurking in the freezer as we will be out until latish. Saturday is looking like sausage...

darling father has just popped in and would like a takeaway, no worries, he's paying. Will rethink again

Friday, 6 January 2012

Meal Plans - a work in progress

I have been thinking about the meal plans, and why they didn't work in the past.

1. I planned a week ahead, and by the end of the week I was not as energetic, was more energetic or there had been some normal family change of plans that had thrown it out of kilter.

2. I planned without reference to the things that I already had in.

3. When darling father brought in, eg a large leg of lamb I didn't dare freeze then once again I would be thrown out of kilter, or stuff would be wasted because of an unscheduled stop to MacDonalds or someone not eating and it not worth doing a big meal for two rather than three.

4. In a crisis I went to the takeaway. Often encouraged by darling father.

5. I forget to take stuff out of the freezer or get distracted by little bear so eg potatoes don't get peeled, things do not go on the stove in time. Then I will panic and we will end up with another takeaway.

Current thinking is:

1. I only plan a day or two ahead.

2. I make a list of all that is in the cupboards, fridge and freezer and keep it updated

3. If there is a danger of too much stuff getting wasted then I work out how to store it, freeze it or donate it to next door's dogs. It is less likely to happen if I don't plan too far ahead, so I can be aware of what is going on. If an unexpected food parcel appears then I IMMEDIATELY google recipes etc and work out how to use it.

4. I keep an emergency meal or two in the freezer for days when walking is a challenge - stuff that can be cooked from frozen. Also I keep in the cupboard some stuff that won't take long to throw together and be tasty. This also works for dealing with number five above. If I have forgotten to take the sausages out of the freezer then I can do corned beef with mash, or corned beef hash, if I have a tin of corned beef in.

I also need to be a bit more flexible with recipes, and I need to develop some lunch recipes.

Tomorrow is bacon butties for lunch, the turkey from the freezer in a jar of curry sauce with rice for dinner, Sunday is the pork roast which cooks from frozen for dinner, lunch is eggs. I will worry about Monday tomorrow - after checking the cupboards!

Thursday, 5 January 2012

Meal Planning lol

Lesley - meal planning is a great idea, but like Operation Christmas Clean, the fates start sniggering whenever I try.

Christmas - Large joint of beef for Christmas day, cold with the rest of the frozen roast potatoes/parsnips, out on 28th, 29th - OH does an unscheduled stop with little bear for MacDonalds so that the cottage pie is not done and instead the beef goes in the freezer and darling father and I have cheese sandwiches.

New Year's Day - It should have been the pork roast that is taking up space in the freezer, but darling father was really poorly New Year's Eve and he just wanted something small for the dinner and OH wanted bacon sandwiches. At least the bacon got used up.

And last night, when I was just too cold and wet and tired to eat, and OH was also in a bad way, the soup just didn't happen. The casserole is supposed to prevent me from getting a takeaway, theoretically being just as quick to bung the frozen casserole in the freezer. I shall see if it ever happens.

However I have just thrown out three large boxes containing four small lollies and done some re-arranging, so I now have about a pound of chopped mushrooms in the freezer, and around four litres of home made (with a little help from a packet) soup. The turkey has been shredded and is also in there.

I should add, darling father also brought home two bags of IKEA meatballs last night. They are in the freezer, and I will never be allowed to forget them!

There is now definitively, absolutely, without question, no more room in the freezer. The casserole that I was planning on going in there has been simmering in the slow cooker for over 24 hours and is now nearer soup anyway, and that is what we are having for dinner. Or else!

Stuffed

The freezer is stuffed! I mean, absolutely, jam packed, need vaseline to get another thing in stuffed. Which is a shame as I have home made soup and a casserole to be stashed in there.

There are a number of reasons. The first reason is that I keep forgetting what we have in. Then I keep trying to stash stuff in there if circumstances mean we don't finish something off. We have just had Christmas and an epic fail in eating all that stuff up. And it is all incredibly badly organised.

The freezer also needs a defrost but that is not happening in the next month or so.

I have come to crisis point. I bought meat in, in order to make up casseroles to have when I really can't face cooking. However, half the veggies didn't arrive, then I had too many mushrooms and carrots so should freeze them, except there is no room in the freezer. Of course, there is no room for the casseroles either. Yesterday I put a turkey drumstick (really inexpensive and worth trying) into a large pan with a sachet of chicken and leek soup mix, some barley, carrots, celery, mushroom and dried onion. The soup was for last night, but no-one could face food except little bear who wanted something hot, like a ham sandwich, and darling father who had eaten out. I had put a casserole in to the slow cooker with the turkey, dried onion, cuppa soup mix, celery and mushrooms, but there is no room in the freezer for it. There is also the matter of a huge turkey drumstick whose meat was destined to be stirred into a jar of curry sauce and served with rice.

Current plan - the casserole we have tonight with leftovers squeezed into the freezer. The turkey is stripped from the bone and is put in the freezer as it will thus take up less room than a casserole and if it is finely chopped it should be possible to go from frozen to pan with jar of sauce and heat through without defrosting as long as I make sure that the temperature is brought up to hot and kept there for long enough. As for the soup (liquid that the leg was cooked in), well that depends on whether I can find the energy and resources (and gloves!) to sort out the freezer, throw out any ice cream and lollies and find space for it. Because I had forgotten about mini pork pies that darling father and I really need to use up for lunch before they go out of date and I don't want to freeze them, so I don't want the soup for lunch.

It's a great opportunity to sort out the freezer and make a list. I just wish I felt more enthusiastic.

Monday, 2 January 2012

Good resolutions but failing willpower

Little bear was watching some Dr Who with OH so I decided to start on some much needed ironing. Little bear had a meltdown - I had to be paying attention to HIM. To be fair, now little bear is less likely to tug on the iron cord, so I can get on with it, but he does do all he can to interrupt. Today I just wanted him at a safe distance while I worked out what was what.

I am a rubbish housewife, and it is hard working out what I should be doing and where I can put things with an assertive young man demanding that he does stuff and that I pay attention to HIM.

I managed to get some stuff done, but I will wait until he goes up to bed for round two.

What I need to do is work out what is going on in the house, then get going with him, so that he learns how to housekeep and I can do things without him throwing a hissy fit.

This post has been almost impossible as I stole a few minutes to post and little bear has been insistent that I pay attention to HIM. I don't want him to feel neglected, but he does need to understand that sometimes I can't drop everything, so I have continued. Okay, continued after breaks for hugs. I feel very battered.

Tuesday, 20 December 2011

Not cooking from scratch

The 'Operation Christmas Clean' gremlins are sniggering more than ever. I have woken up with my cold gone into my ears, so the world is going round and round in interesting ways.

So I browned the casserole beef I had defrosted. Then I completely failed to do housewifery. I added in a sachet of oxtail soup powder, a large quantity of black pepper, a tin of chopped tomatoes, a packet of dried veg, a packet of dried onions, a large sloosh of country soup mix with pasta and topped up with boiling water, shutting the lid with relief. I must remember to top up with further boiling water later on.

I feel so poorly now, but I have to get little bear to the party. I will deal with that when it happens.

Saturday, 10 December 2011

Lettuce washing

I was reading a book called 'Extraordinary uses for Ordinary Things' in the hope of finding good ideas for using up 48 small plastic lemons filled with pasteurised lemon juice.

It suggested washing lettuce by shredding it, putting it a pillow case and putting it in the washing machine for the 'rinse, spin' cycle.

Hmmmmmmmmm

If I am doing the quantity of lettuce that is likely to need a washing machine, I think I will seriously consider either buying ready prepared or changing my catering plans.

The book was on sale. I am less surprised than I was.

Thursday, 3 November 2011

The pits

The cherry stones have arrived. What I am supposed to do with 3.2kg of cherry stones in a homespun hessian bag. That's right - I'm supposed to be making heat bags out of them with the surplus pillow cases.

Sigh

After packing in a hurry, unpacking in chaos and barely able to move without coughing myself to a standstill, the laundry is in ruins. I can only find one of the five pairs of school trousers that little bear possesses, which he is currently wearing. And that he wore yesterday (I washed and dried them overnight, of course). I can't move bags and baskets to search without collapsing with the coughing, and I had two hours sleep last night, which is the last in a long line of broken nights - I haven't had a decent night for about three weeks. The washer hasn't stopped all yesterday but the unwashed pile is still looking at least like Himalayan foothills. The unwashed pile is still smaller than the ironing pile and the 'finding a place to put this textile accumulation' pile, which includes the surplus pillowcases. I still haven't found places for everything for darling father's stuff and the stuff that used to live in darling father's room. Also lots was turned upside down as the ironing etc is in the same room as the space cleared and now filled with four summer tyres.

And in the middle of all this I am supposed to make heat bags. Actually, I am going back to bed.

Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Washing on the line

Today I have finally been able to move enough to do washing, and it has been duly pegged out. There is a bit of a breeze and it is not too cold so I am optimistic.

However, around 12pm I was out having a cup of gossip with Nice Mr Next Door and I noticed that even at noon the washing line was now still in shadow. The height of the sun at noon and the large laurel bushes over the road mean that the 'drying on the line' season is getting near its end.

I am actually quite sad, because I love the smell of line dried laundry and its really only in the last few years when I have been at home with little bear that I have been able to make the most of it.

No matter, other arrangements are in hand.

Tuesday, 18 October 2011

Simply Wonderwoman

On the strength that it had been advertised in darling father's Daily Mail, and that I was feeling a bit fragile, I bought, 'Simply Wonderwoman'. by Joanna Gosling.

May I sincerely recommend the Old Style Board on moneysavingexpert.com forums.

Simply Wonderwoman recommended using white vinegar, diluted in the right proportions with water and 30 drops of lavender oil added for fabric conditioner. I know my place, I just dash a glug of neat white vinegar into the machine and it does fine. I suppose if I diluted it then the white vinegar would go further, but I would rather just put in a smaller glug.

There are lots of hints and tips, and some of them are more intriguing than others. I think it is more aimed at the yummy mummy than the crummy mummy like myself. However she did pass on as a divine revelation that you should find a place to put your keys and put them there every time. I already always do that! It is a brilliant sanity saver and if you do not have a key hook, bowl or box then I certainly recommend it. I don't think I will be laminating labels to put on all my keys, because I don't actually have many and it is really obvious which key is which for me. If I had more keys then perhaps I would reconsider. However I will be overseeing OH as he painstakingly takes apart the rats' nest of cables behind the tv and labels every single one of the plugs - dvd player, sky, tv etc. Also I shall be doing the same for the equally tangled mess of power cables sitting in the corner of the kitchen behind the small electric cooker, the slow cooker, the remoska, the blender and the popcorn maker.

One thing she recommended was making a wheat bag out of cherry stones. She said that you can buy them on the internet. With the assurance of someone who knows what designer labels look like, she assured the reader that they were not expensive. I checked. They actually aren't that expensive (really, when you think about it...). I read the recommendations for them. They are unlikely to hold damp or go musty like wheat, they can be microwaved or chilled, they are a natural product (but so is hemlock) and they hold the heat well. They can also be washed in a washing machine though it probably sounds like your washing machine is being sick while you do it.

I haven't bought any cherry stones. Yet.

If I am mad enough to believe that I will actually make the ludicrously easy bags (I have a zillion pillow cases that can be adapted) and that I will actually take the few minutes after tea to heat them up and put them in to warm our beds in the cold weather, then I suppose I should snap up the cherry stones before they get trendily expensive.

I will let you know how I resist temptation. Please do not snigger at reading this.