Cat Wars

The ginger gentleman is hovering around the street, but either Oscar or Roxy seem to be on guard all the time. Nice Mr Next Door was picking ginger fur out of Oscar's claws this morning. I think that this is one of the blessings of double glazing - it has filtered out a lot of sound.

Darling father came in with a sore mouth - he had had five teeth out and was full of cotton wool. However he was not too full to point out the massive bulk of Oscar, curled up on a garden chair. When I went out to throw stuff in the bin, Oscar had moved over with the travelling sunshine and was occupying a very large patch of earth. He really is enormous.

The youngest cat from next door, Alfie, doesn't really bother about coming out of the house, but I am sure he will be roaming about soon. Then the ginger gentleman will really face opposition in numbers. He is not yet a year old, though, so a little young for pitched battles.

Darling father and little bear are both doing pretty well. Darling father was feeling a bit low, and little bear is too tired to do anything (while denying completely that he is tired), but nothing that can't be expected. I expect I will be dealing with a lot of faddy food requests over the next few days (little bear) and special diet requests (darling father). It could be worse. Little bear has just insisted on having crisps. I was bad enough to let him try them - he has chicken pox all around the inside of his lips and he didn't like it. Actually, he didn't like it after a sterling effort that demolished half the bag, so I am not worrying too much.

Cats at War

I opened this morning to take little bear to school and was met by war - the ginger gentleman had chased Roxy under a car across the street and they were hissing and spitting and yowling at each other as only cats can. If I hadn't already had war with little bear then I think I would have found it a shock to the system.

The ginger gentleman is definitely trying to stake his claim. He refused to back down and chased Roxy along to another car. She then dashed across to her garden. The next thing I saw was the ginger gentleman fleeing down the street with a very bottle brush tail and Oscar peering over the wall.

To be fair to the ginger gentleman, he is almost certainly not scared of Oscar, but he wasn't expecting to see him or be outnumbered. So he ran!

Later on as I was pegging out washing (a bit of a forlorn hope I think) the ginger gentleman was watching me carefully through the rose bush. I think he would quite like to get his paws under the table where tuna is so freely available, but I am aware of at least one home where he is fed, and I suspect he is something of a Six Dinner Sid.

Ginger gentleman cat

I am not sure how much of a gentleman the new ginger tom on the street actually is. I have caught him squaring up to Roxy, a tabby and white lady cat from next door. This is very brave of him as Roxy takes no prisoners and is extremely assertive. He will get a huge walloping if he is not careful.

However this morning as I left the house to get little bear to school the ginger gentleman was squaring up to Oscar. I always get the impression that he is a lover not a fighter, despite his bits being sent home in a jar. Oscar is not an intact tom, but he has the air of a Victorian cad about him sometimes as he lounges at his ease. This morning he was definitely on the back foot. This ginger gentleman means business. Poor Oscar, he moved out of his previous home for a quiet life, but now he has this ginger horror to deal with.

The ginger gentleman has lost his collar. He is a very handsome chap with plenty of meat on his bones, I wonder if he has been lost. I would be very tempted to give him shelter from the rain if it wasn't for evil cat, who can't be having with it at her time of life. I am tempted to ring one of the cat's rescues to see if anyone is missing a ginger gentleman. I may just pass the information on to local shops, so that if anyone asks they can come.

Fortunately the ginger gentleman only seems to turn up during the day, otherwise I am sure that the early hours would be full of the sound of warfare. For today, I think rain stopped play, but I await the next installment. Hopefully, for the sake of poor Oscar, it can all settle down soon.

Re-purposing

I have had a half bottle of vodka lurking for several years. Despite mounting evidence to the contrary, I am not someone who normally drinks a lot, but I thought I would try steeping fresh chopped ginger in vodka. It has been looking at me ever since. I've been a bit too nervous to try it.

And the longer it has sat there, the less I want to risk it. Seriously - vodka and fresh ginger are unlikely to get toxic, but I have spent so long looking at it, I couldn't possible drink it.

So when I had to dispose of some chicken bones yesterday, I tipped some of the stuff in to the bag. Oscar, the huge tom next door, will lick off any vinegar and as he enjoys curry then I am not even trying pepper. I warned Next Door, but hopefully it will put him off. None of our cats have ever enjoyed spirits.

Though the time malevolent cat got at the brandy butter was one of the funniest sights I have ever seen!

Sour Puss

Last night was bin night as the bins are collected on a Wednesday morning. So we do the usual trawl round to make sure that everything is out that should be out, check the fridge and generally lighten the house a bit. The bin fills up pretty quickly. Last night we had chicken so I picked the bones (not really happy with the chicken, but it was okay, definitely didn't want stock from the remains though) and put the bones in a plastic bag with a good slug of vinegar. Because it was in the evening the bag got put in the bin quite near the top, but I thought it would be okay because it really was a generous slug of vinegar.

This morning the garden was a charnel house of bones strewn everywhere. Once small chicken generated a lot of remains, there were bits all over. According to Nice Mrs Next Door, their cat Oscar, the one that digs up darling father's flowers, the one that is entirely black and apparently still growing, the one that usually specialises in rats on the step, is the likely candidate. Especially as he likes vinegar.

How can a cat like vinegar? Evil cat will lick Olbas Oil from fingers, so I suppose anything is possible, especially if it involves being evil. So my normal method of protecting bones won't work. As Oscar is also fond of curry (I didn't even question this), pepper is probably no good either. I shall try a squirt of lemon next time and failing that I shall be digging out my bottle of household ammonia.

Oscar is bad

Oscar looks like the Basement Cat in the lolcats - he is large, dignified and completely black.

Last night I was hanging out washing when I heard some 'click, click' noises. I looked around but only saw Oscar, looking meditative and sitting on one of the bins.

I hung out a few more t-shirts and the clicking happened again. Oscar was still there, looking wise. Cats can look wise, but they aren't. They are just great at posing.

I put the last few things out and then turn round at more clicking - it is Oscar digging at the bin bags! Some kind soul has put their rubbish in our bin and the bin lid wouldn't close so Oscar was investigating.

Fortunately Oscar was too absorbed in his vandalism and thievery to notice me creeping up slowly. Then I whacked the lid of the bin (well away from the cat, I am far too soft) as hard as I could. Oscar bounced about two foot in the air and fled.

This morning the bin bags are looking quite intact. I don't think Oscar will have learned his lesson (he is colossally stupid) but it may protect them for a while.

Thief!

There is a disadvantage to hanging out washing. Next door's huge black tom cat, Oscar, aka Scarface Claw, sneaked into the kitchen while I was hanging out washing and stole evil cat's tuna.

He just flowed out of the kitchen as I came back, all sleek and smug and licking his chops. I shall have to keep an eye on him. Especially as he likes to dig up darling father's plants.

Handsome Devil

Oscar, aka Scarface Claw, formerly the cat with depression, has blossomed next door and now is a huge, all black, sleekly furred tom with attitude. As I came home from dropping little bear off at nursery (with soldier's helmet and eye patch) he tried to come into the house.

He is such a handsome cat, a real smoothie, all lean, mean, mousing machine. But I didn't let him in, no matter how tempted. Darling father may not be here physically, but he would not appreciate the destroyer of his flower beds getting an invite. Also evil cat would probably happen and at her time of life it really isn't safe.

But I was so tempted. I am a sucker for a smooth operator.

Consolations

Oscar, aka Scarface Claw, may have left his bits at the vets, he may be living in a house with a variable number of adults, another cat, two puppies and visited by young children and his back end may now be almost bald due to depression plucking, but his life has consolations.

Yesterday I saw him swagger across the road with something limp, grey and ratlike in his mouth, en route to drop at a human's feet for a really good reaction. Sometimes a cat's life can be really good.

Scarface Claw

Next door's huge black tom, known as Oscar or Scarface claw to little bear, is depressed. I mean, this is a massive piece of feline tom. However he is started to pull his fur out all around his back legs and the base of his tail. From the rear he now looks distinctly shabby.

There are a number of contributory factors. Little bear's shrieks of 'Scarface Claw, the toughest tom in town' probably are a very minor point. The cat next door but one (who seems a bit of a thug) is a big contribution, plus the staffie puppy.

I saw another puppy in their garden yesterday, it looked a cutie. However poor Oscar will probably end up bald. He is currently on anti depressants, he may end up on the cat equivalent of Valium.

Cat Wars

There are two big feline battles going on. Darling father is trying to deter the huge, depressed black tom from digging up his flower bed.

We have also had a noisy spat between an interloper and Oscar, the big, depressed tom, which ended with the interloper slowly edging away with a huge tail after next door's lady cat provided reinforcements.

It is not looking good, however, for the flower bed. Orange peel is so far ineffective but I have sent off for some scaredy cat plants.

The Gentleman Caller calls again

The huge black tom cat next door is at a nose sniffing stage with evil cat, and they are cautiously okay at the moment. He keeps trying to slink in, but he is schooled in the way of toddlers, and he flees at the first sight of little bear.

This massive animal is very graceful, extremely arrogant and outrageously opportunistic. He will call in houses, he will help himself to any tasty morsels just hanging around and uses my plant tubs as his convenience.

He is known to his 'owner' as Oscar, to me as 'Gentleman Caller', to evil cat as 'sniff, sniff, hiss' and to little bear as 'Scarface Claw, the toughest tom in town'.

And to general amazement, this huge, supremely confident, monster is taking tablets - for depression. It just goes to show!

Evil cat has a tiff

Evil cat was being particularly evil. She wanted to go OUT and I wasn't letting her, so she was giving me more grief than I could handle when I was trying to cut up cheese. So I shut her out in the garden until I finished.

Actually I wasn't finished when Nice Mr Next Door knocked to say that evil cat was trying to square up to Oscar, a huge black tom from next door. Apparently Oscar just walked into view and evil cat hissed like a pan boiling over and tried (unsuccessfully) to wallop him through the wrought iron gate.

Oscar walked away. Sensible chap - it is never worth boys fighting with girls because if girls fight fair you look like a bully and if they don't fight fair you are going to end up in considerable pain.

So the hope that I could get a middle aged cat to deter mice and keep evil cat company shrivels up.

Evil cat's gentleman caller

It was relatively fine weather so ten minutes before dear heart was due home I popped out with little bear for a gossip with the neighbours and for him to have a play. I left the front door slightly ajar.

Well, little bear had a marvellous time, hurtling round, playing with other little ones. Then one of the daughters next door asked whether it was evil cat in the window. I looked, looked again, and no, it wasn't. Instead it was a very handsome completely black tom cat. He was there, posing in the window as if it was his habitual viewing point. Cats - they can own a place in seconds.

Evil cat was fortunately asleep upstairs, as she has never taken kindly to strange cats, so I got the handsome visitor out as quick as I could. His name is Oscar, who used to live next door when their grown daughter had to move in with them in a hurry. Their daughter then moved less than half a mile away, but across an extremely busy road. Oscar likes, however, to pop in to his old haunts now and again, regardless of speeding lorries. I do not think he has been 'done' as he has an extremely square head and a sort of devilish swagger. I suspect there are a number of lady cats locally who are receptive to his attentions.

I am not sure that evil cat fits in to that category. She was, of course, 'done' which was when we found out that the relentless bundle of evil energy was female and not male. We had all assumed the violence meant male which was incredibly naive of us. And she is nearly fifteen now, which in cat years would put her in the frame for a telegram from the Queen.

However I shall expect to see him again - especially if he works out where the cat food is left.