Why evil cat is called evil cat

I had a late night last night, and little bear woke up at 6.30am. I was tired. We took him to get some new shoes (I can't get over how quickly he grows) and then we came home. I am so glad dear heart took us, because I was almost nodding off.

Well, little bear NEEDED a nap and when he went down I went to catch forty winks. You know that phrase - didn't feel their head touch the pillow. I don't actually remember my head touching the pillow. What I remember after taking off my shoes was being woken up by evil cat.

There is only so much you can endure. Over the years I have tuned out a lot of the hand washing, hair washing, kneading and prodding. But when her tongue touched my lips I was very awake - after fifteen minutes nap. And I couldn't really follow my instincts on what to say to evil cat, because little bear was asleep in the next room.

I tiptoed furiously downstairs, accompanied by evil cat, who would not settle. First she was on my lap, then my throat, then a spirited attempt at my head. Dear heart tried feeding her but it only counts if I get out of the comfy chair and do it myself. Then she wanted to go upstairs, so I had to open the creaky door to the stairs that led past little bear's room. We always keep the door shut when he naps to minimise noise. Of course, within five minutes she wanted to go up again, and down again and each time we ran the risk of waking little bear. And trust me, especially when she comes down, the noise she is creating is also a risk to waking little bear. And no-one who has witnessed what she is like will say that you can ignore her. You absolutely can't. Even using a squirt gun on her - the ultimate weapon against any other cat - is completely wasted on her.

Finally I realised that I was thirty seconds away from fricassee of evil cat and a new pair of gloves, so I left the house with dear heart in charge.

When I got back she had changed focus. She wanted to be outside. But could we please turn the rain off. And in. And out. Then she was sick on the dining room carpet - two feet away from the vinyl, easily cleaned kitchen floor.

Tomorrow she goes to the vet. I hope she will be annoying me like this for some time.