Slugs and Snails

Darling father has been happening to the garden. It isn't very big, and the lovely lad next door had cleared a load for me. But darling father is on a mission... His idea of a garden involves one or two pretty flowers. I am considering walking onions.

Little bear had duly ran all over like a little tornado, squirted the aphids with soapy water, caused a general amount of havoc and now he helped me water the plants - with coffee. I had heard that coffee kills slugs, so I purchased the cheapest and nastiest non decaffeinated coffee that I could lay my hands on and went for it, as our garden is over-run. At night you could squelch.

Little bear thought it was marvellous fun. He insisted on having a go at the watering can, even though it was far too heavy for him, and generally sploshing it about. Then we found some old tubs. I tried to pick them up with my fingers under the rim and it crackled - snails were there in quantity! So I turned the tubs upside down and watered them with coffee.

So me, darling father, little bear, nice man next door and eventually my darling brother watched stunned as the snails started racing to the top. I have never seen anything like it. When I nipped out later they were making sweet lurve with inappropriate enthusiasm, don't they know that kids come past here?

I may have to rethink this strategy