I am a hypocrite

Morgan - you are right about the handwritten notes. On the one hand I will send drifts of cards - from evil cat, from little bear, from OH and me, etc. I have even been known to send them in separate envelopes, paying extra for the stamps rather than saving with the cards all in one envelope, as I think it is sometimes nice to have a lot of cards land on the mat. It is my way of showing that I am thinking of someone. It shows that bit more care than an email or text.

On the other hand - I hate that you feel obliged to send cards at all sorts of triggers. If you are unable to see someone at Easter, and send a religious card from one religious person to another, then that is fine, I am right behind that. On the other hand, from one non-religious neighbour to another, a card with a fluffy bunny on is ridiculous and a way for the card shops to extort money.

I am also a bit of a grump about wrapping paper. Everything gets wrapped in the plain gold stuff I got on sale from Matalan. The thought of maintaining a file of different types of wedding/christening/birthday paper horrifies me. I am far too disorganised to get it right, and with my wrapping skills, you could never tell anyway! I spend a lot of thought on gifts inside the packaging, but usually have an epic fail with the wrapping.

The other thing is, I am entirely behind sending cards of condolence. It can make a real difference. I don't mind the card shops selling them!

I tagged my post as controversial, and I am torn about it. On one hand I love being able to send cards to show someone I love them, to say I am pleased that they passed an exam or a driving test, that I hope that they get better soon. I can be really prolific. On the other hand I hate this growing and relentless social pressure to spend more and more on cards for more and more occasions that are not as old as little bear. The Mother's Day card to a lady who was pregnant, from the bump, is so astonishing to me.

Also, I think it is a sad sign of the times. Instead of congratulating a pregnant lady, and joking about how this time next year she will be getting a card, it seems necessary to pay out money to send a card. There always seems to have to be something material involved.

I think I have more or less defined my feelings - I resent spending money on a card that is for an event that has been created by a card company where I wouldn't otherwise have sent a note if cards didn't exist. I resent over big cards and over glossy cards that are expensive, difficult to carry and either take up far too much storage or won't recycle. And I saw last Friday too many people with a haunted and stressed expression wondering if they had done enough to meet the expectations of mother's day, and all the worry and hassle that has nothing to do with love from mother to child and everything to do with marketing campaigns and materialism.

On the other hand, I really like the lady who runs the florist at the end of the street, and she was open at 6am on Sunday, and sold everything! So I (hypocritically) am glad she made a profit. I just wonder how many flowers were bought out of love, and how many out of duty and a guilty conscience, and how much as a substitute for spending time with their mother. I think most out of love.