Ravylesley - I started to do a reply to you, but realised that I couldn't do my feelings justice in that small box.
You said, 'Children dont want another friend they want a strong Parent who loves them enough to stand up to them' And I cannot agree with that enough. It sounds crazy to say, 'I am not my child's friend' but as a parent we can't have that relationship. It doesn't mean we can't be close, or loving, or enjoy each other's companionship. However one person in the relationship has to be able to say, 'No' and take a longer view. I try my best to do that.
Bear's relationship with piano lessons is a case in point. He doesn't want to go, he objects, he grumbles and he complains. He turned to me once and bitterly demanded why I forced him to go. I said something like, 'It will make you more intelligent, more co-ordinated and give you insights into things that others who do not have music lessons don't. It will give you chances to make friends, have fun, impress girls and you may be able to pick up extra money by playing the occasional bit here and there. You are going.' Bear is still trying to think of answers to that lot so he just says he doesn't want to go. He goes.
The difference between the two churches is not vast. Methodism and the Church of England are not widely separated when it comes to theology. As far as I can tell, the Sunday school lessons are not hugely different. I think the CofE church would give bear wider experiences. I could list a lot of positives for the closer church. I am not managing much more than lukewarm about them, but I suspect that is me.
The brutal truth is that physically it is hard for me to get to the CofE church, it would easily take over an hour to walk and the buses are erratic. Bear is willing and comparatively enthusiastic about the church at the end of the street, which is full of nice people and a theology that I am comfortable with. At the moment it is bear's best chance of a relationship with God.
So I will take bear to the end of the street each Sunday, and concentrate on other battles, such as once again working on his basic manners which seem to be evaporating at the moment and on enforcing healthy eating. This way bear will learn about faith and that is far more important than my reservations and tepid reaction.
Thank you for your comment. It has really helped me and I really appreciate it.
2 comments:
You are doing a good job. If you are getting a six year old boy into church once a week, that is nothing short of amazing! If as you say, there is little difference between the Methodist Church and the (further away) Church of England, then you may as well go to the nearer one. My mother attends her local C of E church, when it was being renovated a few years back, the congregation was invited to share the Methodist church just across the road. This built bridges between the two churches and now they still share services, groups and afternoon teas etc. I think this is a wonderful spirit for the community.
Janet - thank you. There are some lovely bridges built, not just between CofE and Methodist, but wider eg between Islam and Christianity. There are lots of good people everywhere. I shall keep my grumbling to myself, enjoy meeting all the nice people and hope bear will be okay when he is old enough to decide for himself. WS xxx
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