Tuesday 31 March 2009

Evil cat is not feeling well.

Actually evil cat is doing okay. She has put back on a tiny bit of weight, helped by a few illicit fish fingers and some definitely non diet strips of turkey and her fur is lovely, soft and dense. Evil cat herself is only dense.

But it is now spring, and we have the door game.

Evil cat will beg, mither, annoy and terrorise until you let her into the garden, leaving the door slightly open for her to come back in. This is an invitation for every fly in existence to turn up. She will go outside and eat something green. Then she will come back inside and be sick on carpet - not vinyl or tile, and not outside. It has to be carpet and if there is ironing around that is even better.

However a number of things are bothering me. She really is very insistent on getting out, eating something green and being sick. I do think her tummy is a little off. She is being incredibly clingy, so that she is an absolute menace. And I worry about her going out into the street as there are some new cats around and evil cat doesn't really understand the rules. Evil cat picks fights and will stay and be beaten up until the other cat gets demoralised and gives up, but that was when we were possessed by other cats, who were used to her, had to live with her and understood that she had 'issues'. She was also a good deal younger and less creaky. Some of the tom cats currently roaming round look twice her size. And it wouldn't occur to evil cat not to pick a fight.

She is also not happy because I had a particularly spectacular sneeze while she was on my lap and she was catapulted across the room and was very offended. Now when it looks like I sneeze she gets off my lap/throat/chest/shoulder and looks the picture of offended elderly dignity and slinks into her basket.

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