Thursday, 29 July 2010

The Eyes have it

Ian - hugs!

The eyes have been getting blurred for about a week or so. It is like they are too tired to focus. I tried popping in to an opticians for an appointment yesterday, but no luck. I shall try again tomorrow. I only want to try an ad hoc, drop in type thing because I can never guarantee to be able to turn up these days. If it isn't one thing it's another. Of course, being only able to see out of one eye to start with does make it more interesting at the opticians, they always get stressed about it.

As an aside - I get three afternoons per week when little bear is at nursery to try and sort out dentists (don't ask!), opticians, doctors, counsellors, etc and so far I cannot remember one week that has gone according to plan lol

I am confident the eye sight is linked to depression - I have had problems with blurred vision before when stressed. Apparently it could be a symptom of ME, but I think I will buy into the ME diagnosis when I see it.

I am struggling to see consistently. Darling father is staying, so running to keep up. Little bear has had a runny bottom. OH has had trouble sleeping so is having a bad time. So no writing and no knitting, my two life savers.

Now, so many people have really serious things wrong with them. I have been doing things like washing up etc without much bother. However, this is my only place to really moan. So I can grumble about mild (vvv mild) sciatica which is still not nice, and the tendonitis, and the sore throat. The blurred vision is worrying me a bit. Also, bit concerned about my mental health.

I should have seen a counsellor for the first time since 5th July on Monday, but little bear had a runny bottom, and I couldn't send him to nursery. My next chance is 16th Aug, and I'm a bit worried. I am seeing a doctor tomorrow. That is, if little bear's bottom holds up!

It's lovely to write a long post. I shall post about the dentist tomorrow if I can.

Wednesday, 28 July 2010

Currently have blurred vision

Normal service resuming shortly

Monday, 26 July 2010

The Post has come

Postie handed me a letter today. It was a brown envelope with the name of the electricity supplier on the back and through the window you could see red.

I ripped it open, how could I have a final demand when the direct debit continues smoothly? It wasn't a final demand, it was a hint that I should take up central heating cover. It was just advertising.

I am considering changing supplier anyway.

Saturday, 24 July 2010

Evil cat is healthy

Evil cat happened to the vet today. And she is fine. The huge scab near her mouth is just a normal scratch.

I feel very reassured. And it was the Young Vet that saw her. The Young Vet was the Young Vet when OH started going to the vet's practice nearly forty years ago - as a small boy, I hasten to add. He is not as young looking as he used to be. He is, however, extremely good with cats. He will grab one without mercy, refuse to be scratched or gnawed, insist on a full examination with no exceptions - and get in a crafty cuddle while he does it. He is brilliant.

Big Ron, the cat with the name tag 'I am fat, do not feed me' was also there, to little bear's delight, intimidating huge alsatians. He is the pet cat for the practice, and I think he is the best indicator of how good the vets are. His wiles for getting food are legendary, he was rehomed twice before the vets got him and he has a personality that would fit in a Terry Pratchett book. And the vets are so good with him. Though they don't quite say, 'He's a big softie really'. Because he isn't. He's a tom cat neutered late in life and with a Greebo attitude.

Friday, 23 July 2010

Little bear's first parents' evening

I am so proud! The paediatrican said that he was more or less getting into the normal range. The nursery said that he was near or at the top of 40-60 months range, or the age that children start year one - and he is three and one half! So yah boo sucks! That was for things like numbers, letters, understanding etc.

Socially he is not so comfortable in large groups - but fine in small groups and one to one. He is starting to make friends with a few of the less boisterous boys (I breathe a sigh of relief, not the boisterous ones - I couldn't cope) and is polite, considerate and generally well behaved.

I am sooooo proud.

So he has goodies and fuss. And now I am looking into how to best give him the stimulation he enjoys - lots of letters and words and numbers.

Did I mention how proud I am?

He is running round at the moment shouting 'Help!' because I won't put a nappy on him and he is refusing to use the potty.

I am just so proud.

Wednesday, 21 July 2010

Mr Sainsbury

I had a delivery this morning. Normally my delivery comes during the afternoon, when little bear is safely at nursery. However today I was supposed to be meeting someone in the afternoon (which fell through)so I had a delivery supervised by little bear.

It was not too bad, actually, little bear was a cheeky chappy, and was trying to play pitch and toss with a bottle of fizzy pop, bashing the onions about, the sort of thing you would expect, and in the confusion a bag of frozen was missed.

I was too busy to notice, but the nice driver kindly rang me and said he would drop it off in the afternoon. At least I think it was in the afternoon - the mobile was going off at the same time and little bear was trying to answer it. I confirmed when I would be dropping little bear off at nursery and expected the delivery of the one remaining bag of frozen later.

Then no delivery. So I rang to get an estimated time of arrival. They were very apologetic and mentioned that the driver said he would do the drop in the evening, and he should be there between six and eight pm.

I actually said that on the whole I am satisfied with the service from Mr S. I get great products, usually on time, the drivers are very helpful and I appreciate it. They are usually really nice, and sometimes are the only adults I ever see, and they humour me, and they carry things I can't and are really nice. I didn't want them to think that I was being awkward.

The driver dropped the frozen with Nice Next Door. Around 5.45.

But they left a £10 voucher. I didn't really expect it. There had been a mix up, they had done everything that they could to put it right. I was very happy (if a bit rushed!). I shall use it for a treat. And I do feel it is a bonus, not something I somehow deserved because there was a little problem.

So on the strength of the excellent way that they dealt with a very minor mix up I would like to recommend Sainsbury deliveries.

Tuesday, 20 July 2010

Darn, more yarn

I am feeling a little low, so I am tempted to get some yarn.

I do not need yarn, I really do not need yarn. OH is very chilled about yarn, but I have just had a trip to the junk room and seen mounds and heaps and piles of yarn - not including the vast quantities downstairs. I found stuff I had forgotten. I found lots and lots and lots of stuff, including a space dyed stuff that looks a bit on the fine side dk which I have always intended to make into a sweater 'one day'.

I have to clear enough space in the junk room so I can get a bed in there, so that I can go in there, so that darling father can go where I sleep when he moves in.

This may not be possible. At least, not unless I do some radical rethinking. Hmm.
Just to say that I am trying to write, but because I am so tired it isn't working well. On Saturday I managed about 500 words, but reading them back, they didn't make sense. However this is but a temporary lull and normal service will be resumed shortly.

Evil cat is a scabby tabby

I had been a bit concerned because I thought there had been crumbs caught on her mouth, but on closer inspection (taken at great personal risk) it seems she has had a nasty scab, with now a bald spot next to her mouth, in proportion it is quite big, bigger than her eyes. It might be a bad tooth she has been trying to get at, poor old girl.

So it's off to the vets on Saturday. I'll post when I find out more.

Wandering on

I am still having short nights. One reason is my feet are cold, but from the inside. So I can wear slippers and socks and pile on extra blankets but my feet are still cold, enough to keep me awake.

Last night was not too bad on the foot front, but little bear needed extremely cuddles @ midnight as he had a 'poorly knee'. It was a bit odd really, there was no sign of anything wrong and no sign that I could see of cramp, but he was very upset. I thought it could be growing pains. However, he didn't properly wake up throughout so it could have been a dream. I was inclined to take him to the drs, but he seems okay now, racing around without any trouble, so I shall keep an eye on things. Then evil cat had hidden herself upstairs and then needed to get past a shut door to get to the litter tray at 1.30.

Yesterday, while I was out with darling brother, some drunk randomly wandering down the street, threw a brick at one of the back windows of the local pub - the pub has the front in a street behind us, but is deep enough so that it's back is in our street, although no back door thank goodness. He then threatened some poor random stranger in a car park before being chased off.

So, thinks more or less normal for here then.

Sunday, 18 July 2010

I have had no sleep at all last night. Little bear is starting to stir.

I have so much to do, and I don't think I'm going to get anywhere. I was nearly crying with exhaustion when I woke up yesterday. I think I am truly up the Ankh without a paddle.

I don't know how I am going to look after little bear. Thank goodness he is usually a reasonable child, creative but reasonable. I might be able to manage a little walk so he gets some exercise. Then he can settle down and do drawing or sticking or watch tv.

DH took him to Leeds Armouries yesterday and bought him a Roman helmet. Little bear slept in it, though I think it came loose around 3am.

There has to be a better way to be than this.

Saturday, 17 July 2010

Evil cat is getting scruffy

I need to keep a close eye on evil cat, I think. Actually I don't think I have much choice, as last night I was knitting a ruffle scarf and increasing to four hundred stitches, and she wouldn't move. She was firmly dug in across my chest and I was holding the dratted scarf out at arms length. She is trying to sit on the mouse as I speak.

However as I was cuddling her, I found some dried food near her mouth, which has never happened before, and her fur is getting a bit dry. Normally her fur is absolutely fabulous and completely wasted on a tabby with (I suspect) gender issues. Gender issues aside, she has always been very clean with the softest fur ever.

There is nothing I can put my finger on, I suspect that it is a sign of age, but I shall pay a little more attention. Though fortunately at the moment she is eating and drinking well, so that is something.

Re gender issues - when we first got her we were convinced that she was a tom because she was so relentless and was always playing with our poor old tom cat, whether he liked it or not! It was only at the vets that we found that she was a ladee and we were very grateful that we had given her a gender neutral name. She never poses or does the 'look at me, I'm beautiful' thing that so many lady cats to, and she will just leave her tail dangling rather than tucking it round her paws. She only curls her tail in when she is more confused than normal.

Thursday, 15 July 2010

Grumpy WS

I have a sore throat and achey bones. This is not serious, but is a pain, because I want to be doing things.

And next door are having what sounds like a karaoke party, so sleep may be a distant ambition.

I'd kick the cat out of grumpiness but I'm scared of her.

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

Dear Me

Little bear came back from nursery with me in an independent mood. He was not holding handies, he was walking along with his hands in his (rather trendy and big boy) jacket pockets, he was a big boy, he wasn't going to hold hands so there.

I think any mother reading this can guess what happened next. Little bear tripped and landed with a colossal thud. Right on his face.

At first I really was panicking, but there was no blood and quite a bit of crossness, so I managed to coax him home and gave him some fruit and cuddles. Tonight he also had some baby nurofen. Because he looks exactly like a battered child with this huge bruise over one eye and his legs look like he is systematically beaten.

It was not helped that he was exhausted before this happened and then we had one of the biggest thunderstorms this summer with what was almost a flash flood. Little bear was not happy - we wouldn't let him play out in rain heavier than a hosepipe stream.

Tuesday, 13 July 2010

Timing is everything

I have oodles and oodles to do, so much to get sorted so that darling father can move in, so much I want to get finished. And I am exhausted. The dr has been muttering about ME and it is a convenient hook, but I am just on the floor! I can barely keep going. Yesterday when little bear was at nursery I just about flaked out!


I will put up the final bits of the Forgotten Village at the same time as the first bit of the new story (fantasy, swords and sorcery, magic and perhaps even monsters, but the same attitude to good dialogue and good characters, and I hope a better fist at description). So it may be a few days before it gets up. Then I plan to only post up in 5,000 word chunks as the bits I have been putting up seem so bitty. I think the current size tends to be around 2000 words or so. Though suggestions welcome.

The chunks will be a little more spaced out in time anyway, because I am once again having a go at writing a novel for publication. I have one written but I want to re-write it as I am getting better at writing with practice. I can't post that up, as then it definitely would never get published, Publishers only want first rights. So I plan to alternate my daily write between the two, then when the novel is done and dusted, start sending it round to agents.

I have had a quick look into self publication of the Forgotten Village. It is just not financially possible for me, however as long as copyright is respected then I am not going to come round and check to see if you have printed off the story for your own benefit. If you want to, go for it. I am incredibly flattered if you want to.

However I am just so exhausted. The house is a mess, little bear needs more encouragement and darling father has gone home so I need to keep on top of the (tiny) garden or he will be cross that his pride and joy isn't pristine...

And I've ordered more yarn. I think it is the tiredness talking. It's like the Sahara putting in an extra order for sand. I'm not even sure what I want to do with it. Knit it, obviously, but I cannot imagine what the heck I am going to do with it. Add it to the heap that I already have, I guess.

So proud of little bear

On Sunday little bear was reading with OH. And he identified 'pink', 'blue' and 'orange' as words, with no clues - there were no appropriate pictures and the page was in black and white!

I am so proud of my little boy. I just need to build on it. But not today. There is an interesting selection of spots on him and he is very clingy. I think I will be on extra cuddles. I am not sure if it is the fag end of the MMR or chickenpox. I shall watch and see how it develops today.

But I am just so proud of him!

Sunday, 11 July 2010

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty is up - please forgive the typos, the keyboard has been driving me nuts and I am confident I will have missed at least one or two.

Also PARENTAL WARNING the chapter contains the word sex. It doesn't actually contain any descriptions of sex or sex scenes (well, a bit of kissing and cuddling, but no pink bits), but I thought I would mention that the 's' word occurs.

I am so happy with how it is going.

Saturday, 10 July 2010

Cat Wars

There are two big feline battles going on. Darling father is trying to deter the huge, depressed black tom from digging up his flower bed.

We have also had a noisy spat between an interloper and Oscar, the big, depressed tom, which ended with the interloper slowly edging away with a huge tail after next door's lady cat provided reinforcements.

It is not looking good, however, for the flower bed. Orange peel is so far ineffective but I have sent off for some scaredy cat plants.

Friday, 9 July 2010

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen is up, but be warned, it is @ 3500 words, a big chunk.

I don't think I am giving too much away by saying that I am getting near to the end, but I need to figure out how to top that action scene and try and have a great climax.

Just to be clear, I have no intention of describing any wedding lol

I would also point out that I am just over 58,000 words total, and I am quite pleased with that. Thank you for all the support, it has made a fantastic difference.

Darn, just as I thought I could safely press publish post, I have thought how I could use the wedding as part of the climax....


Thursday, 8 July 2010

Book storage

Little bear has a quantity of books. At the moment there are three storage places. The first is a little shelf and a half bookcase. The second is a selection of plastic boxes (books stored upright to be flicked through). The third is a thingy from Argos with the books on end facing forward.

They are completely inadequate.

Actually at the moment there are still a lot on the floor and I just pick up a few extra each visit, as does OH, who cleared loads last night.

What I need to do is wait until little bear isn't looking and get rid of the books aimed at younger ones. He doesn't really need 'where's my lion'. He needs less books.

Especially as he gets bought books by the tonne by all relatives!
Dentist went okay - I have a sort of stick thingy in my mouth where the new crown will go, when I go back (eek!!!!).

Still doped.

Also, can't recycle glass. It is a problem as glass should always be recycled, but there isn't a glass recycling bin anywhere near me. So, I try putting glass on one side until OH goes to the tip. I am starting to rethink this strategy as no matter how many times I take the glass out of the bin, some kind male always puts it back...

I need a good hiding place and a bus route near a glass recycling bin.

(also not just jam jars but significant whiskey bottles, no-one would ever believe I don't drink).

Tuesday, 6 July 2010

With Apologies

I am being sedated tomorrow at the dentist.

I don't react kindly to sedation. I will be there with darling father, who will somehow get me home in a taxi. I know what I am like when I have been that sedated - open mouth and all sorts of stuff comes out.

I really don't want to say anything controversial to my father. I really don't want to say anything controversial to my father. He's the nicest bloke that ever bought a pint, but as a child I was very much aware that I was out of sight, out of mind.

And I really don't want to start on OH. Not to darling father. They get on really well and I don't want to start any problems.

I suppose my fall back position is her three doors down and that is always good for a laugh. As long as I don't bump into her getting out of the taxi and say something actually to her, like, btw did you know you remind me of butch in the Tom and Jerry cartoons? That would not be helpful.

I have planned to sleep through the day. I do not plan to do any writing under the influence. Anything good written under the influence would probably have been better without it, and my next few paragraphs involve an action sequence. Because I can never remember my right from my left I actually do a little drawing, so I can try and keep it consistent. Without coherent thought, it would be gibberish.

However, I do feel that the last few chapters are in sight. If I re-wrote it for a novel I would probably add other plots and extend the time between incidents, but at the moment I am happy with it. So I am hoping that within the next fortnight The Forgotten Village will be finished, and then I am going to be starting The Bane of the Old Forest, much more fantasy with swords and things.

Can you tell that I am babbling because I am worried about tomorrow.

I am not a good mother sometimes

Last night I was up a little late, finished Chapter Eighteen, and I was exhausted. I staggered upstairs, looked in on little bear and nearly just went straight to bed. Little bear had found every single book in his room - easily over one hundred - and piled them onto his bed. He was stretched out on the floor and deep, deep, deep asleep.

I really didn't want to face it, but I did. I tiptoed in, and little bear just about surfaced and stood next to me, nine tenths asleep, as I excavated the bed. He grabbed hold of Ratatouille as it was cleared of books and held on for dear life. I just threw all the books off. Then as soon as enough space was cleared he scrambled into bed and was out like a light.

I need to go up soon and try and work out what to do about all these books. Also I did not appreciate little bear's disapproving, 'very messy books, mummy'.

Monday, 5 July 2010

Chapter Eighteen is up

I weakened. I was tempted to write the next big scene before I posted, but it is already edging towards three thousand words so I thought I would get this up, and then go for the next big scene with gusto!

Thank you for all your support, I am having so much fun and I am so flattered that others are sharing it!

A few potholes on the road to progress...

I have been writing the Forgotten Village on Google Documents. Last night it did not want to play. Last time I took a typing test I got 63 words a minute, and I suspect that I am a little faster when I write because I don't bother over much about accuracy and just use the back space button with free abandon. Last night I would be typing away, staring at the curtain as I mentally imagined and heard what was happening, and then I would look at the screen and see the laborious click, click, click of a single letter appearing at a time, slowly forming a word and taking minutes to catch up to where I was.

I was also doing a conversation with the Appucks and that means lots of punctuation, and I always like to see it to make sure I have at least put some in. I like to look like I've made an effort.

However I gave up after a while so the next bit should be up tomorrow

Sunday, 4 July 2010

Not more yarn

I have just bought more yarn.

I do not need any more yarn, I have yarn that is spilling out of the house and down the street. Maybe not literally, but the way I am going it is only a matter of time.


But I saw this shrug that I really wanted to have a go at and it looks really easy and it will be just the thing...


I am going to go and try and write some more, in a pitiful effort to stop me buying more yarn

(it was a great price though...)

Saturday, 3 July 2010

Chapter Seventeen is up

And if you've missed Chapter Sixteen I think you have missed fun.

I enjoyed Chapter Seventeen. I am about to go almost straight to writing Chapter Eighteen, and I hope that doesn't fight back too much.

I am trying to judge how much extra detail I need to put in and how much I need to keep the pace going. I think I will be heading for a big finale fairly soon.

Thank you LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS for the support.