For those who would like it, the link again
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2792473/1/The_Forgotten_Village
Chapter Four is now up. I am keeping it to around 2,000 words per chunk (or trying to lol)
The next bit may be a few days coming along as I have to do a lot of housework over the next few days.
1 comment:
Hi Sybil, please don't publish this comment, as it's very specific.
I'm loving the development of the storyline, and can't wait for the next chapter. One request I would make, is that when the narrative jumps in time within a chapter, would it be possible for you to put in some blank lines, or three dots in the middle of a line, as would be done if the story was published in a book. It's a bit confusing otherwise. I'm thinking particularly about chapter 4, the bit where we shift from Karen sitting in the pub chatting to Mike over breakfast, and then suddently in the next sentence she's arriving back at the Red Lion in a foul temper. There is nothing to help the reader make that transition. I don't think you need to put in any text to say "later..." or anything: something like the blannk ines or stars or dots or similar device would do it.
Thanks again for sharing.
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